W h a t ?
"S-Sebastian?" I ask in a whimper drenched in innocent curiosity as the crimson eyes of my love gaze so fondly into mine. Tears gliding down my cheeks, to travel to their final resting place on his cream shirt.
His words do not frighten me, nor excite me and yet I am shaken by them.
"My love, I didn't just learn how to sew together your beautiful gown, I finally learned how to save you from your imminent demise."
He wants you to live with him forever? Why? Just so he can leave you all alone in a world you can never escape?
NO!
STOP TALKING AND LET HIM SPEAK!
"My precious little Ciel...Ever since that day I have been searching for the answer to how I could stay by your side for all eternity. I only found what I was looking for last night, when you had already fallen asleep. A ritual. To turn you into a demon."
"What?" I mutter breathlessly, the wind knocked right out of my lungs with his final statement being all that remains.
"I have been searching for some kind of way to be together...forever. For a long time. I wanted to wait until tonight to tell you but...when you held my hand, you shared your emotions with me. To feel the loneliness that had pent up inside of you, I had to tell you now. I had to show you that I never want you to feel alone...never again. Even death will not leave you in isolation."
He wants me.
He wants to be with me.
"But why...? Why me? Look at me! I'm...I'm damaged..."
You don't truly believe that, do you?
"You're not damaged, my Lord. That has never been the case...for you see...you have never been anything but perfect."
Perfect.
Are you sure that is how you would describe a murderer?
A coward.
"But I have killed-"
"The people you have killed, were either out of mercy, out of pity or out of defence. How can anyone judge you for such a simple thing as this?"
"I enjoyed every second of it-"
"If the Queen's Watchdog did not enjoy murder, how must he do his job?"
But you are weak.
Weaker than most cowards you have murdered
"I am weak-"
"Your body may be weak but the mind you call your own is more powerful than you will ever know."
"I can't-"
"Ciel, my dearest, know this and only this as the gospel truth. You are more than your circumstances. Don't let your distrust of humanity take over your chance to live with me...for eternity."
Anger builds within me. One of sorrow and loss that shatters the walls I built to protect myself from ever being harmed by the words of another. One that twists and turns as harshly as a killer's blade in my stomach. The darkness consuming my very soul, ready to fire as I let all of my agony leave me.
With a shout that drains the blood that flows through Sebastian's cheeks. That stops his faux heartbeat as he stares down at me with a shocked expression that I never...ever...wanted to see.
"IF YOU LEAVE ME, I WILL BE ALONE FOR THE WHOLE OF EXISTENCE. AND IF I DIE, YOU WILL FALL FOR ANOTHER AS YOU HAVE ME. I CAN NEVER WIN IN THE GAME OF LOVE, SEBASTIAN!"
I could never win in the Game of Love
YOU ARE READING
As Time Goes On - A SebaCiel Story
RomanceCiel Phantomhive is growing older than he ever thought he would as the search for clues to gain his revenge are few and far between. His nightmares become worse in a way he never expected as the man who has served him hand and foot becomes something...
