I fear I am going mad with worry. A thousand times I have ran this scenario over and over in my head but I can never seem to get rid of the anxiety that leaves me shaking in my boots.
Look, you promised yourself that you wouldn't do this. Sebastian has to suspect nothing when he walks through that door and shakiness is a large indicator. It's basically begging for negative attention. Which I would rather not have. I want to act as per usual but the nervousness has taken over.
What if he says no.
He can't lie to me. So rejection would sting twice as much.
Before I could freak myself out any more than I already have, the door to the office opens to reveal Sebastian himself. Perfect. I'm not ready at all.
"I have your tea, my Lord." He freezes as he puts the tea onto my desk. Looking at me in speculation.
"Are you feeling alright?" Damnit Sebastian. You couldn't give me the benefit of the doubt.
"No...not really. Well yes...but no at the same time."
"How vague." He sits down in the seat in front of my desk, with that very same look of 'I'm not leaving until you explain' on his annoyingly handsome face.
"Fine...I'll tell you. I've been really nervous all morning over what I'm going to tell you now." He keeps a very human posture, leaning back with crossed arms. Sarcastic to say the least. But he stays quiet for the time being. That makes this slightly easier.
"I have felt this way for a long time. Longer than I realised. Recently I discovered these feelings and I couldn't hide it from you any longer. I felt like I was lying. So here we are, in this shambles of a confession." I let out a nervous chuckle before continuing. "I'm in love with you. I have known this for a week now but I felt so guilty for not telling you sooner. I'm a bastard for doing that to yo-"
"I love you too."
I'm rendered speechless, mouth hanging slightly open, eyes considerably widened.
Letting out a chuckle, he gently pushes my jaw up with a gloved finger to close my mouth. "You'll catch flies."
"You r-really do?"
"I'm not saying this for the good of my health, Ciel. And besides I can't lie to you."
"For how long?"
"Since you turned sixteen. You became even more well...you. I can't exactly explain it, it was like an epiphany. Akin to your sudden attitude adjustment, which was extremely welcomed by the way."
"So you've been in love with me for two years?"
"Yes. You never asked so I never told."
Goddamnit if I knew that I would've done something a Hell of a lot sooner.
"Well...I don't know what to do now. I've never been with or wanted to be with anyone."
"We can learn together, my Ciel. We have all the time in the world."
YOU ARE READING
As Time Goes On - A SebaCiel Story
RomanceCiel Phantomhive is growing older than he ever thought he would as the search for clues to gain his revenge are few and far between. His nightmares become worse in a way he never expected as the man who has served him hand and foot becomes something...
