Silver Screen Romance (Book 3)

56. It don't matter what I do, it all keeps coming back to you.

Mandy's POV

I stood there frozen, but for the longest time I thought this was what I wanted. Brian was always the one, right? A million thoughts crossed my mind, but one stood out, if Brian was my whole world, then why did I always run from him?

"Mands?" He waved his hand in front of my face.

I shook my head. "We should talk about this later. I have to go."

He furrowed his brows. "We're at your house?"

I grabbed my keys. "I know but I promised I would take Robin to the movies."

I rushed passed him and hopped in my truck.

Here I was running away from him again, like I had so many times before, but I couldn't pinpoint the reason why and it was driving me insane.

I pulled into the In-N-Out parking lot and dialed his number once again.

"Tal Cooperm—"

I cut him off.

"Can you meet me?" I asked.

He agreed quickly and I hung up the phone. I sat for about 15 minutes before that familiar black jeep pulled up next to me.

I got off and jumped into the passenger seat of his jeep.

"You want to drive? Or just talk?" He asked.

"Drive."

We drove for about 20 minutes before I spoke.

"Why am I such a mess? I used to have everything together, but now I don't know what I want."

"Things are the way they are supposed to be, I think that you're the same perfect girl I met all those years ago." He spoke sincerely.

"Everyone has a family, is married, having kids, or about to do one of those things and I'm alone. I couldn't even keep a bab—" I stopped.

He cleared his throat. "No it's ok. We should be able to talk about it."

I turned to him. "We haven't talked about it since that night you and Spencer fought, you had been drunk for days around the anniversary we lost her, and she had just found out about the baby. Come to think about it, that's the only time we ever talked about it."

"I know and I still have a hard time with it, I think because no one really knew, we were never able to celebrate the fact that we were going to be parents. It all got taken away so fast." He said.

"Do you think that's why I'm so screwed up? Because things just haven't been the same for me or between us since that night."

"We fight a hell of a lot more than we used to, but we're still here for each other, no matter what."

I looked away from him. "Yeah, no matter what."

Flashback-

Tal's POV

"Tal something is going on with you, you haven't slept, you've barely eaten, all you focus on is work and I can't remember the last time I saw you without a beer in your hand." Spencer worried.

"It's just a beer, Spence."

"You realize this started around the anniversary of—"

I cut her off. "It has nothing to do with that, Spencer."

"Then why don't you ever want to talk about it Tal? Every time I bring it up since I found out you shut me down, you change the subject as quickly as possible."

"What happened, happened. It's been over with, there's nothing we can do about it and talking isn't going to bring her back." I brushed it off as if it were nothing.

"Have you even talked to Mandy about it or how she's feeling? I know it didn't just happen, but this still has to hurt, you lost a baby. She went through it, maybe you can help each other through it. But I mean really through it, not sweep it under the rug like you have been these last couple years."

"I'm fine!" I screamed.

I sighed. "I don't think you are."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah you're right, Spencer. You're right about everything. You're even right about how I feel."

"Tal, you don't have to be an ass about it."

"Well then fucking drop it. It's none of your business, you weren't even involved anyway." I was growing angrier by the second.

"Yes Tal, I wasn't involved, but that doesn't mean that I don't worr—you know what never mind. I'm going to bed, you can sleep on the couch." She was holding back tears.

"Spence..."

"No. No. Don't worry about it. Enjoy your beer." She walked off and for that moment I thanked God that Nathan wasn't here to witness any of that."

End of Flashback.

Tal's POV

"What are we doing here?"  I asked.

"What do you mean?" She played dumb, something she was good at when she was avoiding a question, but it never worked on me.

"Mandy." I spoke sternly.

"I just needed some clarity and with you I can usually find it." She admitted.

I sighed and pulled into a park and turned the car off.

"Why did you stop?" She asked.

I stayed quiet.

"You must hate that I always lean on you."

I turned to her. "I don't hate that and you know it."

We fell into a comfortable silence. It should've been awkward, but for some reason with us it never was.

"What's going on in that head of yours, Tal?"

She put her hand over mine.

"I'm with Spencer, Nathan is my son, I proposed to Spencer."

"Yeah I know all of that." She said.

"No you don't get it." I started to get impatient and angry, more with myself than anything else.

"Tal?" Her tone had now turned to worry.

"I'm with someone else, I promised my life to someone else and her child. I can't—" I stopped. Was I really about to do this?

I hit the steering wheel and she jumped.

"Tal. You're starting to freak me out. What the hell is going on?!" She raised her voice.

"I'm still in fucking love with you, Mands! And I don't want to be!! That's what's going on!" I yelled.

She didn't respond. I looked at her for answer but her eyes were wide and she was staring at the screen on the dash.

Spencer's name was displayed and the time was running. Without realizing it I had answered her call by hitting the steering wheel. She had just heard everything.