Green Stilettos? -- l.h. (Under Editing)

Chapter 57

I FINALLY GOT THE LINK TO WORK OMG. IGNORE MY TERRIBLE SINGING

I sat on my bed, frustrated. Not because of my song, no, I finished that a while ago. I just wanted to cry for no reason. Like always people tell me.

I haven't heard from Luke in the almost month that I've spent on this tour. I decided to write Meghan's song and then call him. "Cas is gonna get fucked over if this is the wrong type of song." I said to myself. I picked up my pencil and started singing a couple of tunes to myself.

I laid down and ran my fingernail across the wall. Kind of a weird motion but it helped me come up with an idea. I knew Meghan was all about the "love" portion of life so that's what I was going to write about. Step one: find a beat.

There were a lot of tunes going through my head but I finally found one that worked for me.

Step two: create the chorus. I felt that I should base the song off of my relationship with Luke because, yolo.

"I wanna love you. Baby I can't lose you. No, I wanna love you, I just can't lose you. Not that either. I'm gonna love you, 'cause I just can't lose you. Getting there. Okay so, I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you. Yes. Yes, that's it." Sometimes, I don't even think that hard about lyrics I just wrote down whatever sounds good in my head.

Kind of what a rapper goes through, but downgraded. "I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you. I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye to you." Nah take out the 'to you'.

Finally, after I had tweaked some things, I had the song done. It only took me, let's say, three hours at most. I sang it softly to myself and recorded it.

"I found myself dreaming
In silver and gold
Like a scene from a movie
That every broken heart knows we were walking on moonlight
And you pulled me close
Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone

I woke up in tears
With you by my side
A breath of relief
And I realized
No, we're not promised tomorrow

So I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you
Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when
When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you

In the blink of an eye
Just a whisper of smoke
You could lose everything
The truth is you never know

So I'll kiss you longer baby
Any chance that I get
I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets

So let's take our time
To say what we want
Use what we got
Before it's all gone
No, we're not promised tomorrow

So I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you
Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when
When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you

I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you
Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when
When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you

Like I'm gonna lose you." I don't do the chords right then and there, they can figure that out, but at least the song was finished.

I was in a really depressed mood now. You'll probably be like "MacKenzie you're always in a depressed mood blah blah blah." Yeah, well, shut up, I actually have a real mental issue.

I cried into my pillow and decided to call Luke once I calmed down. I looked at the clock and sighed. "12 o'clock. Fuck. I hate life." I whispered. I wonder where the guys were at. We usually all share a room. I know, it's awkward, but it's the only arrangement we get.

I laid down again and looked at my book. "I guess if I can't say the words... I can sing them." I shrugged and picked up my pencil. (AN- I seriously should've written down my progress as I was writing this song but oh well.)

I called Luke's number and waited for the dial to stop. "Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick up." I whispered as I closed my eyes. "Hello?" A groggy Luke answered.

I froze and couldn't talk. I heard a noise and judging by how many times I've been on my phone I think it might've been him taking his ear off of the phone. I know that's a really big assumption but just shush right now. "Babe? You there? MacKenzie?" Luke asked. I still didn't say anything. "Listen babe I don't know if you're actually there but I have to go. I need to work on shit for this new album and I'm really tired I-" I cut him off and took a deep breath. I started singing and he went silent. [Play video]

"MacKenzie? Babe are you crying?" Luke asked now concerned. I burst out into tears, as usual, and ended the phone call before anything else was heard. I gently laid my head down on my pillow and sobbed quietly. I got multiple phone calls so I finally decided to answer at least one.

"Hello?" I asked sniffling. "MacKenzie? Oh thank God you answered." Ashton said with relief. "Boys I got her on." He whispered quietly. "Listen, we don't have much time. Luke went to take a shower to get his mind off of you. We have a plan. We're thinking that after you get off of tour with whatever you're doing right now you could come on tour with us." Micheal said. I closed my eyes and mentally face palmed. I had already told them that was my plan. Ugh, whatever.

"You want me on tour, with, with you?" I asked jerking my head from crying. "If course. We love you and we need our girl with us. Especially Luke." Cal said.

"Especially me what?" Luke said from afar to me. I heard shuffling and a clang but I could still hear their conversation. "I couldn't get her to pick up. Sorry." Someone said.

"I- I don't know what to do. She just broke down and it's my fault. I feel so awful and I just," Luke started crying softly. "I want her here. I want to hold her in my arms and I want to. I want to. I just want to be a good boyfriend. She's the love of my life." He whispered. It was barely audible to me but I guess they were close.

I quickly left the room and ran out the door crying.