Avengers Texts

Natasha To Tony

<Nat>

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING BUT MY NETFLIX JUST CUT OUT AND IM TRYING TO WATCH ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK

<Stark Ass Dumb Shit>

IM SORRY IM HAVING LOKI FIX THE COMPS HE HACKED TO FUCK UP BUCKS SHIT

AND THOR FOUND OUT

SO HE THREW MJOLNIR AT ONE OF MY ROUTING BLOCK COMPUTERS AND HALF THE TOWER IS OUT

IM SORRY

<Nat>

DONT FUCK WITH MY TV AGAIN BITCH I WILL FIGHT YOU

IN FACT IS THAT STUPID BLONDE ASS WHITIE ASGARIAN PUNK STILL DOWN THERE COS IM GONNA FUCK HIM UP

<Stark Ass Dumb Shit>

yeah he's down here

god his hammer is stubborn

<Nat>

um its not stubborn its heavy

<Stark Ass Dumb Shit>

no its not

if it was too HEAVY for hulk to lift on the helicarrier, then the heli shouldve crashed under the weight of it

and when he sets it down on someone it would crush them but it doesnt

weight has nothing to do with it- its stubborn

<Nat>

then how does it work?!

<Stark Ass Dumb Shit>

it was forged in the heart of a star, so it became a fixed quantum point

the universe moves around it, and thor is the only one with the proper resonance to react with it on a quantum level

so he is the only one with the leverage required to shift the rest of the universe around the fixed point that is mjolnir

<Nat>

HOLY SHIT STARK YOU ARE SO FUCKING SMART OMMG DOES EVERYONE ELSE KNOW THAT

<Stark Ass Dumb Shit>

i assumed it was obvious

i guess it's not

<Nat>

GOD YOU STARK ASS MOTHERFUCKER

<Stark Ass Dumb Shit>

stark ass?

<Nat>

its what i've started calling smart asses or annoying bitch cunts

<Stark Ass Dumb Shit>

great

can you please come get thor hes fucking up my shit and loki needs to fix this

<Nat>

sure thing bitch

<Stark Ass Dumb Shit>

r u jokin me rn

<Nat>

fight me