Avengers Texts

Thor to Wade

<Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!>

where is stark

<Wade Wilson>

THOR HI HOW ARE YOU

  <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!> 

I am fine, thank you. I need stark

<Wade Wilson>

he and bruce are like out on a date or something i dont know

 <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!>

stark and doctor banner?

<Wade Wilson>

yeah meanwhile your cats are all loose in the house and matt and foggy are fighting? I think? I don't know they're not doing it right and lovely spider tush is mad at me

  <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!> 

who's mad at you

<Wade Wilson>

oh that was supposed to say peter... it autofills haha

 <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!>

I have a similar shortcut for my brother's name, only it is less fond and uses more asgardian hate speech

<Wade Wilson>

aww are you still mad at him

  <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!> 

yes. where is natasha? does she know about stark and banner?

 <Wade Wilson>

yeah she said she was glad they left bc tony was being annoying and there was too much fighting going on.

<Wade Wilson>

oh steve and tony were fighting while lovely spider tush and i were fighting and it was really loud and then foggy showed up, and she's kinda upset about like her own thing so now she and clint are doing angry facial expression talk

<Wade Wilson>

*peter

  <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!>  

I hate it when they do that

<Wade Wilson>

i know right i didn't learn sign language for them to just stop using it jeez

  <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!> 

so the captain and stark are fighting? and stark is with banner? 

<Wade Wilson>

yeah well steve and tony are always like. fighting. there was mention of whorehouses, i think? i'm not sure

<Wade Wilson>

steve seemed pretty huffy that tony just left with bruce

  <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!>  

well, I can imagine why! I can't believe stark would do that!

<Wade Wilson>

well, I don't think it's that big a deal. like, he and bruce had this thing scheduled or something. and besides when me and peter are fighting sometimes he goes out with a friend.

<Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!>

really?

<Wade Wilson>

yeah, well, sometimes i'm pretty agitating

  <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!>  

I wouldn't think of that as an excuse...

  <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!> 

I am coming home to wait for stark, give him a piece of my mind. and peter too.

<Wade Wilson>

oh by the way bruce drugged your brother

 <Thor!! ZAP ZAP!!>

UNBELIEVEABLE