Shea Butter Baby

Broken

Per your request, here's another flashback chapter

Bria
As I sat in my room writing in my journal, I had crossed out my original ten year plan for myself now that I had a baby girl. She laid in bed in front of me, in a yellow onesie with a bib on with a decorative print that read, 'Mommy's favorite girl' to catch her drool. I watched her make baby noises as she attempted to put her fist inside of her mouth to teethe on.

She was her father's twin and reminded me so much of him daily. I prayed that one day when she's old enough that she wouldn't make the same mistakes that I made. Being with Adonis was mentally draining me, I apparently was good enough to have sex with but not enough to provide an emotional connection with him.

Creed was a complicated man to say the least. He had no problem in sleeping with random women but when it came to opening up about his feelings and personal life he'd immediately shut down. It wasn't my job to 'fix' him or even be his emotional healer, but the way he had been treating me was exactly like my ex before he became abusive and manipulative. I closed my journal, after filling my page with a new five year plan in hopes to achieve my dreams of becoming a fashion model/stylist.

Yara cooed with the Teddy Bear in her hands smiling, as she played with the stuffed bear. The thought of motherhood still frightened me, could I really do this on my own if Adonis folds through? Reality had finally set in now that she was here and just a few months old.  Tears fell from my eyes clouding my vision temporarily as I thought about the past few months which were emotionally draining. 

A knock on the door took me out of my thoughts as I rubbed my eyes to make it look like i wasn't upset or crying. After getting myself together, I let whoever it was inside while still sitting on the bed, Yara's tiny hand gripped around my index finger as she tried to shove it into her mouth. Sandra opened the door moments later smiling and leaned against the banister when she saw the two of us.

"Hey, you okay?" Sandra asks, walking further into the room.

"Yeah, I'm fine who let you in?"

"Adonis did...you sent me a text earlier saying that you were here so I decided to stop by and visit my best friend and my niece." Sandra smiles placing her purse down on the dresser and asks where the restroom is so that she could clean her hands before returning to pick up the baby.

"How's my favorite niece hu?" She talks to her in her baby voice, causing Yara to giggle at her.

"You okay? You look blue..." Sandra says, observing her best friend.

"I'm just stressed and tired of being mistreated I just, I just don't know what to do I mean Adonis is a great father to Yara but the more time I spend with him he's starting to remind me of my ex.  I don't know what I did to deserve this...maybe I should just raise Yara on my own because this shit is for the birds.  I'm depressed I feel like I've gained weight from eating comfort foods and I've just been sleeping all of the time whenever I'm not at work or taking care of Yara.  I haven't been happy in a long time and being with Yara is the only thing that brings me peace.  Like I have something to live for." Bria says quietly and sniffles.  She folds her legs into her chest in a fetal position, and buried her face inside of her arms. 

Sandra places her hands on her best friends back, gently caressing her to help ease her emotional pain. 

"You don't need to be with Adonis if he mistreats you like this.  He's emotionally draining you.  You were doing so well after your breakup with Brian and now it's like that all over again except this time it's with Adonis.  Now, don't get me wrong since we've found him Adonis has been a great father to Yara and I'm not taking that away from him.  But the way he treats you is so disrespectful and you don't need to be in that environment." Sandra says, feeling bad for Bria as she breaks down for the first time in a while.