Silk Sheets [Janet FanFic]

39

Time to give my good sis her chapter! Don't worry, Embers is coming up soon.

Phoebe

My lock screen pissed me off. My home screen made it worse. My social media burned my insides alive and my life was falling apart. This shit wasn't on me. Well maybe it was.

I've been thinking this over and maybe I gave her too much of myself. That person that I showed her the other night— that person that's in me doesn't just come out. However, when she does it scares the hell out of me because that's my defense mechanism. I wanna fight and I wanna yell because my feelings are hurt and I'm in pain. I wanna break shit and scream but in the inside I'm really racking my eyeballs out and trying to piece my heart back together. I gave her too much power and that's on me. I trusted her too soon and that's on me and now I've found myself right back where I was with my ex, and I hated this feeling.

My random thoughts of the day have all been Tiffany and I. My eyes didn't want to see her anywhere but I still couldn't bring myself to change or delete anything. My chest felt tight these days, maybe my heart was actually breaking. I had put too much into that woman... so now, this was on me. My tears soaked so much of the pillows at night that I wake up and my face is still damp.

I'm hurting— and thugs not supposed to hurt. I can't stop crying— and thugs damn sho' not supposed to cry.

The door to my hotel opened and Kyrin walked in causing my head to snap in her direction and out of my thoughts. She immediately began speaking. "Morning sister, I love the green. Now let's talk. Yesterday, I had some mind blowing sex right?"

"Whoa. Whoa. Ion wanna hear that shit." I told her in all seriousness.

"Eh I don't care. Anyways, so yes, mid sex— wait nah. Not mid sex well after the sex..." She trailed off again. "Okay, not immediately after but some time after, I got to thinking. You love that woman."

I didn't reply immediately but finally I mumbled. "Of course I do."

"Mhm, so I know you don't wanna hear this right now, but love is forgiveness. You can't keep this anger in your heart. You gotta let her know that she hurt you P, you can't just keep harboring this. You love her, and she fucked up but come on, we know Tiff... She gone do whatever she can to fix it. You just gotta let her fix it."

Sitting down, my leg began shaking. "What if she does it again?"

"Then you go from there. Don't live on the what ifs sis. It's gonna be alright, no matter what, it will. Just, give her a chance. Hear her out. Yes you're hurting, but she is too. Daddy raised some independent kids, but you gotta admit that he didn't raise us heartless. Love isn't perfect P." My sister continued. "Now, can you have a conversation with her? If not for her then for yourself. You can't keep doing this shit and no matter how much you dye your hair, it isn't going to change nor fix anything. Can you at least talk to her?"