Agent Vermont (Red Vs Blue OC)

Season 6 Episode 16

I took a light snooze sitting up for a while, bored out of my mind as Tau began searching through command's database since he is so close to it, adding information to the chip resting around my neck for further examination later.

"Mutey! Wake up!" Simmons suddenly called and I took a sharp breath of air in, like a snort, and sat up straight.

I looked at him in confusion, making the sign for, 'What?'. Luckily, Simmons had actually tried learning some of my sign language, unluckily he only knows simple words.

"You snore! How does a mute person snore!" Simmons said.

"Ya, sounds like the cry of a pig honestly." Grif said.

'Oops.' I thought.

'It is true, you do snore loudly.' Tau said.

'Like I didn't already know that! People in Project Freelancer called me the pig all the time because I stole sweets and snorted like a pig. I hated it.' I replied.

'It is best we create a way to mute your helmet for future purposes, certain freelancers may recognize your snore.' Tau point out.

I nearly sighed, 'Great. We will have to figure that all out once this is over.' I thought.

"Yes I win again! Also, Mutey snores all the time. Church actually ended up buying sound proof insulation which we put around her room because Tex threatened to beat her to a pulp when she slept." Caboose said in his usual happy voice.

"Well then." Simmons said in shock.

"Oh, and she also drools in her sleep. I once had to wake her up and she looked funny with her hair sticking up everywhere, blank eyes, and drool coming off her face. I took a picture and mounted it in the base!" Caboose said helpfully.

I slapped my forehead.

'You really do not look much like a lady when you wake up.' Tau pointed out.

'Tau, when do I ever look like or act like a lady should?' I growled in my head, making him drop the topic.

"I'll pay twenty bucks to see that picture." Grif said.

I raced over and got Grif in a headlock, holding on tights as he tried to back away.

I signed with one hand at Caboose as I glared down at Grif he kept struggling.

"She says, 'Take back or I will throw you a birthday party!'" Caboose said.

Luckily, Grif caught the gist of what I really meant.

"Alright, Alright! I take it back!" Grif cried out.

I left him go as he struggled, making him fall on his ass as I kicked his side, making him curl up on the floor.

"You sure you don't want to become a red, little lady? You would make an amazing addition and give me great entertainment." Sarge said, chuckling.

"Really, Sarge? She just beat up a red and you want her to join us?!" Grif gasped out as he slowly sat up.

"Yep, it was worth it." Sarge said happily, making Grif sigh as he leaned against the wall.

I walked over to a window, looking out and watching the area as time passed. Soon, Grif wasn't complaining about pain and the silence fell again.

 "Uhh, okay. Now I'm bored. Simmons, promise to do me a favor. If the madness sets in, just shoot me." Grif said, making he turn. As soon as I did, Grif hid behind Simmons.

"Do everyone a favor and shoot him now." Sarge said.

"Is that an order?" Simmons said nearly happily.

"Nah, save your bullets for somethin' worthwhile." Sarge said, moving away.

I went back to looking out the window, completely unaware of what passed in front of it. I stared, bored, through the window for some time till Sarge spoke up

"Hey, Simmons, get over here! Hustle up!" Sarge called.

"What's up, sir?" Simmons questioned. I turned and saw them gathered around the computer.

'Oh geez....' I thought, 'Here is where they are going to use Washington's advise against him.'

"You're good with uh, computers, right?" Sarge asked.

'How outdated is this guy that he doesn't know what computers are?' Tau thought.

'And yet he can create advanced robots, ironic, eh?' I replied.

'Too ironic.' Tau agreed.

"Well I'd like to think so, I mean there's really all different kinds of skill sets. Like you have your binary computation, you have uh, bus transport-" Simmons spoke, even leaving me at a loss of what he is talking about. Then again, I just know how to do lock-picks and simple hacks, not... whatever he is talking about.

"Yes or no?" Sarge asked.

"Yes." Simmons said.

"Okay here's what I'm thinin'. If this is Command, and these computers have some of those internets installed on 'em-" Sarge said, clearly not knowing a thing he is talking about.

"There's just one internet, sir, and I don't think it's located inside this building." Simmons said.

"They probably have all the information about everything, right? Like in a, spreadabase or, one of them ROM things? Datasheet?" Sarge continued, leaving me so confused as to what in the world Sarge thinks he is talking about.

"I'm sorry, was that something I was supposed to understand? Was that even English?" Simmons point out what I so wished to say.

"Come on, man, you know, like all the mainframes, on the Reds and the Blues. Series of Tubes and whatnot." Sarge continued to dig himself a hole.

"Ookayy, you're using a lot of terms that don't really make sense. I think you're asking me if these computers store all the data on Red and Blue Armies?" Simmons pieced together.

'Even I would not have figured that out from Sarge's weird way of talking.' Tau thought sarcastically.

'Yet again I will point out that you have been around me wayyy too much.' I said.

"Control-Alt-Bingo." Sarge said.

"Probably." Simmons said uncertainly.

'I could get into the system in five seconds.... oh, wait, I already am.' Tau thought smugly.

'Dude, seriously, you have spent too much time around me.' I thought.

"Could you get in to it?" Sarge asked.

"Yeah, if I had some time. What're you thinking, sir?" Simmons asked.

"Simmons, I want you to erase the Blues." Sarge said.

"What, you mean like the Blues from our canyon?" Simmons asked, looking at the computer.

"No, Simmons, all of them. Gone. Erased. As in wiped off the map. Kablooie. Terminate process." Sarge said.

"Sir, you just blew my mind." Simmons said happily.

'We gonna stop them?' Tau questioned.

'What's it matter? I don't get paid because I don't exist in blue records. I still have my savings from when I worked for Project Freelancer. So, why not watch and see how it plays out, maybe it will annoy Church enough that he will attack a red, that might be entertaining.' I thought, leaning back to watch.

Ok, shorter chapter but there isn't much that happens with these guys in this episode, soooo..... onto the next! Enjoy!