Chapter eighteen

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Accidentally published it, sorry for the false alarm guys 😬
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Vanessa's pov

I stood besides Y/n as the people started to lower the casket into the ground. I wouldn't know what to feel having to witness my mother so I could only imagine how Y/n felt watching her last true flesh and blood, other than her extended family of course, be put to rest.

I raised my eyes up to Y/n and she was staring quietly, or spacey as she would call it. My hand slowly slid into hers and she gave me a brief smile before going back stone faced.

Knowing how Y/n usually reacts to stressful situations, I tried to let her retain her independence while also still being there. I didn't want her to blow up or explode but I also didn't need her pushing everything down. This would be hard and I knew it but I wasn't going to let her grieve alone.

"Babe." I looked back up when she pulled me out of my thoughts, her tongue poking out to lick her lips before speaking. "It's time to go." She trailed off with a sigh and I felt my heart pang with the pain that was evident in her voice. I nodded and we walked slowly off of the green lawn that was surrounded my other headstones.

"I'm sending my prayers to you." Were left from every persons mouth and Y/n politely thanked each of them gracefully. I don't know how she was doing it.

First she walks out of the hospital without breaking down, then she performs in front of the world, and now she's walking away from her mother's funeral... like it was a normal thing. I do not know how she was doing it.

After the quiet ride home, we both walked up the stairs of our empty house. Ny and Ellie volunteered to watch over the kids while Y/n took some time to recoup. She claimed she didn't need to but also didn't necessarily fight against it either.

"Are you hungry?" I asked softly once we reached our room. I expected a hard no but she looked up and shrugged with a soft smile.

"I'm actually in the mood for cooking. Is there anything you're in the mood for?" I shrugged as well and she nodded. "Same. Pasta?"

"Sounds good." I sat on the bed and took of my wedges while she shrugged off her blazer and started on the buttons of her dress shirt. "Babe I don't want to.. push you but you seem a little off." She tilted her head silently. "I just went to make sure you aren't pushing your feelings down."

She nodded in response. "Yeah.. does look that way." Her fingers stopped halfway down her shirt as a sigh left her lips. "I'm not pushing anything down, Nessa. Mom taught us to be strong while dad taught us to appreciate the beauty of everything... I guess I'm using both of those to my advantage."

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.

She slowly walked towards me and kneeled down on one knee, motioning to her tie. A small smile  made its way to my lips as I started to undo it for her. "It hurts to know my mother is gone but if I were to spend my time sulking, she would slap the shit out of me." I giggled. "So it's going to hurt and I will let it hurt but I'm also holding the good moments closer than this bad one. As long as you're here, holding me down, I can get through this too."

I slid the undid tie off of her neck and set it on the bed besides us, my hands landing on her cheeks as I connected our eyes. "You know I'm gonna hold you down."

A small, barely noticeable smile poked at the right side of her lips. It was so damn cute. "Forever?" She questioned and that just added the icing on the cake.

Without responding right away, I grabbed the chain with our wedding rings from around her neck and I held it up to my lips, kissing it as she would. Then I spoke, "Forever."

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