Just Smile

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - PART TWO

*I'm sorry in advance 🤷🏼‍♀️*

*FREDDIE'S POV*
My heart raced as I ran as fast as I could back towards the flat, praying that I'd find John there. I wasn't much of a runner and these bloody heeled boots weren't helping but I was determined to find him and stop him from feeling how I knew he was feeling. Those girls would've said something disgusting and horrible to him to make him run off how he did, I know they would've. They've always had it out for me there and now they were using John to try and take me down. If they wanted me to quit I fucking would if it meant saving him from hurting how he was. I know he would've taken their words personally and it scared me as to what was going through his mind. It was only this morning I talked him out of his thoughts and now I was panicking on how I was going to do it again. I didn't, no I couldn't, I COULDN'T lose him. He's my person. My chest was heaving and my lungs burning as I finally made it to our block of flats, quickly tackling the mountain of stairs before barging my way into the front door.

"JOHN?!" I shouted, instantly rushing around the place to try and find him. "JOHN?! LOVEY?!" I shouted again, having no luck finding him in our small lounge area. My heart was pounding against my ribs as I pushed open our bedroom door, finding our wardrobe open and half of John's things packed into a small bag sat on our bed. My heart then dropped, my stomach flipping as I knew that he was leaving. He was leaving me. Why would he leave me?!

"F-Freddie?" His voice suddenly came from behind me, him appearing in the doorway holding a few things that looked to have come from our bathroom.

"W-What are you doing?" I asked, my eyes quickly filling with tears as he stared at me. "Why, why a-are you packing y-your things?" I quizzed, swallowing the lump now present in my throat. John instantly looked away, his eyes focused on the floor as he shook his head. "Why are y-you leaving?" I added. "Did, did they say something t-to you?" I sniffled, taking a step closer to him.

"I, I have to go." He whispered, shaking his head again as he backed away from me. "I, I can't d-do this to you." He mumbled, his gaze still firmly on the floor.

"N-No." I shook my head this time, reaching out to take the things from his hands. I wasn't just going to let him leave. "You, you can't leave John, you, you can't leave m-me." I sniffled again, taking his hands in mine. "Whatever they said to you, it's, it's not true." I shook my head again.

"I'm not e-enough." He sniffled himself, dropping my hands and in turn breaking my heart.

"Lovey you're more than enough! W-Why don't you believe that?" I sighed, just wanting to hold him in my arms. He was just having a moment, he was. He was just feeling a bit down but I can fix it. I can make him feel better about himself, I can! "You, you don't n-need to do this. You're more than enough for me! I, I love you more than anything!" I exclaimed, feeling like I was going to throw up from the amount of nerves pulsing through me.

"I...all I've d-done is let you d-down." John muttered mostly to himself. "I, I'm n-not worthy. I, I don't d-deserve someone like y-you." He cried, shaking his head once again as he fiddled with his hands. I was really panicking now, not having seen him in such a bad state before. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I couldn't let him leave. He couldn't just walk out on us, on our life, just because those girls planted a stupid seed in his head! He was more than enough, he was SO fucking worthy! "I-I, I have to g-go. I have to l-leave because you n-need better. You deserve b-better than me Freddie. I'm, I'm not enough for y-you and, and I can't h-hold you back a-anymore." He hiccuped, struggling to get his words out as tears fell down his face.

"You're, you're not making any sense John." I mumbled myself, shaking my head back as I tried to wrap my brain around what he was saying. What did he mean he wasn't enough? Why did he think he was holding me back?! "This, this is silly. Just, we'll just put your things back and, and, and it'll all be o-okay." I nodded, turning to start taking things out of John's bag. He wasn't leaving. He couldn't just leave me. We were a team! We were Freddie and John, not just Freddie!