Just Smile

CHAPTER FIFTY ONE

*AHHHHH SHES FINALLY BACK!!!
I'm so sorry for my absence guys, I hate that it's taken me almost a month to get this up but it's here and I'm happy with it so I really really hope you guys enjoy it! 💕💕💕*

*BRIAN'S POV*
*One Week Later*
"I still can't believe this is real." Roger sighed, a wide smile on his face as he rolled over to face me in bed, resting his head on his hand cutely. It had been a week since we got back the positive test and neither of us could wrap our heads around the idea of having another baby. It was something we wanted so badly, something I would do anything for, and for us to get it so soon after losing our last chance, it still didn't feel real. We were both a little apprehensive at first, Rog suggesting that maybe we try some more tests, just to be sure it wasn't a false reading and we weren't getting our hopes up for nothing. I agreed and we brought as many as we could, each test coming back the same; positive. I was pregnant. It was a wash of relief seeing those two lines staring back at us. It mean that now we were able to celebrate, to be happy, but it also shoved my anxiety back in my face, my brain taking me right back to just how terrifying things were when we almost lost Ivy. I couldn't handle going through something like that again, the emotional pain of almost losing something so precious still cutting me up inside when I sat and dwelled on it. I'd been praying since we found out that I'd make it to my surgery date this time, that we wouldn't have to rush to the hospital to try and save my baby again. I just wanted to keep them safe, to do anything and everything I could to protect them. "Are you okay Bri?" Rog spoke up again when I didn't acknowledge him talking to me. I felt rude but my mind was still caught up in my worries about this pregnancy, every horrible scenario possible suddenly flashing though my head all at once. What if I lose the baby again? What if they're born too early? What if they're stillborn? "Love?" He probed, sitting up beside me as I finally let myself out of my head. "Are you okay?" He asked again as I nodded, taking in a deep breath to try and relax. Worrying about this is only going to make me more stressed and that's not what I need right now.

"S-Sorry." I sighed, finally meeting his eyes as he raised an eyebrow at me, looking more than confused as to what was going on.

"What's the matter Bri?" He quizzed, taking my hands in his. "Is everything okay?" He added, giving them a gentle squeeze as I nodded again.

"I, I'm just overthinking." I sighed again, feeling like a bit of a git for worrying so much when things were going okay. We'd had our first appointment with Penny yesterday, the doctor being a little shocked to see us so soon but more than happy that we were back with some good news this time. The ultrasound went perfectly and she said our little one was as healthy as they could be for ten weeks (I wasn't sure how I made it to nine weeks without any symptoms sooner), but I couldn't help the anxiety that still bubbled inside when I thought about everything that could possibly go wrong.

"Overthinking what love?" He questioned, his thumb brushing over my knuckles softly as he sent me a look of concern.

"Everything." I scoffed, shaking my head. "My mind has just been all over the place since we found out about the baby." I sighed for a third time, hating that I was so caught up in my head. I should be excited about this, fuck after what we've been through I should be screaming about it from the bloody rooftop, but I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to get excited when I know that anything can happen down the track and we could lose it all in a split second. "I, I'm scared Rog." I whispered, feeling my stomach start to churn at the mere thought of something going south with this pregnancy. "I'm scared we're going to lose all of this, that, that something is going to take it all away from us again." I sniffled, watching his look of concern change to one of realisation as he squeezed my hands again before pulling me into a warm hug, his arms holding me tightly as I clenched my eyes shut to try and fight off the tears I could feel coming on. "W-What if, if it happens again?" I struggled out. "What, what if-"