Just Smile

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT - PART ONE

*Hi there lovelies!
I'm so sorry for the gap between updates but I wanted this chapter to work out how I envisioned and it took a while longer than I thought it would 😂
Saying that, I'm super happy with it and I hope you're ready for another two (or more) parter!
💕💕*

*JOHN'S POV*
"I told you I'm fine Fred." I sighed as my boyfriend fussed over me for the hundredth time whilst we left the hospital the day after the party mishap. After taking a minute to process the shock of smacking into the door, I calmed down and realised that everything was fine and I wasn't as hurt as we all originally thought. The spot on my belly where I'd ran into the doorknob was still tender and I would have a oddly shaped bruise for a while, but other than that I was fine and the baby was fine too (according to the two ultrasounds Freddie made the nurses do before I was allowed to leave today).

"Are you sure though?" He panicked, making me roll my eyes as he held a hand to my back for support (not that I needed it).

"Fred." I warned, his overprotectiveness already getting on my nerves as I knew it would. I loved the man to death and I was more than grateful he cared as much as he did but I didn't take well to smothering. I needed my own space, my own time to breathe and just take care of myself. I'd spent so long taking care of me that somebody else being there constantly was enough to drive me batty! He was worried enough about me last night, let alone now! I know he didn't mean to be too much and I tried my best to just let him go but I couldn't take it anymore. I needed some space.

"S-Sorry." He said quietly, quickly dropping his hand from my back as we kept our walk up towards the taxi he'd had called for us. I instantly felt bad for pushing him away as we both piled in to the car in silence, the only words spoken being our address before the driver started the journey home.

"I didn't mean to be so harsh love." I sighed after another five minutes of awkward tension hovering in the back seat, me taking Freddie's left hand in my right one as we sat together (the gap beside us being larger than usual, I noted quickly). I could sense how he was feeling just by the way he was holding himself. He was upset I snapped. I should've known me being so snarky would hurt his feelings. "I'm sorry Fred." I said seriously, giving his hand a squeeze as he avoided my gaze. "I love that you care, I just-"

"You just won't let me help you." He cut me off, taking me aback a bit as Fred usually never got so snappy. "I-I want to help John. I want to be there for you and make sure you're okay." He sighed. "I know I might be too much sometimes b-but I can't do anything else for you. I wish there was something better I could do but there's not. I can't help you in the ways that I want to but, but I wanted to at least try and be there the best I could." He rambled, ending the rant with a shake of his head as he moved to stare out the window. "I guess it doesn't matter. I don't want to force anything on you." He muttered to himself, making me feel even worse as I knew he was only trying his best. I understood that he didn't want me to feel like I was alone through my pregnancy and I didn't feel alone, I knew he was there with me and I should've just let him help however he wanted without making him feel horrible about it. I was being more than selfish when there's people out there who have to go through all this alone. I was lucky Freddie stood by my side through everything, yet I wasn't acting like I was grateful for him being there.

"I'm sorry." I said softly, hating that he was clearly annoyed with me and it was all my fault. "I know you're only trying to help because you care about me, about us," I sighed, my free hand resting on my bump gently. "and I shouldn't have been so horrible and snapped at you like I did." I shook my head as he let out his own sigh, finally directing his gaze towards me. "I didn't mean to push you away or to hurt you the way I have Fred." I said seriously. "I just...I cope better alone. After everything I had to deal with alone for so long, I just find it easier to look after myself." I tried my best to explain, Freddie looking like he was listening and taking in my point of view.