Just Smile

CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT

*Please enjoy some cute Maylor 🥰🥰*

*ROGER'S POV*
*Four Days Later*
"Can you believe we want to go back to this again?" I chuckled as Bri and I lied in bed, listening to Fred and John bustle about trying to take care of Archie as the little man screamed the place down. It was only their second night home with him and it was obvious they were still rocky with trying to find their feet as parents with Fred gingerly knocking on our door for some advice every five minutes (even if it was three in the morning!). It was hard to believe we wanted this again, to have another screaming baby of our own after we barely got ourselves out of that bloody phase with Ivy, our little one being better with her sleeping schedule now.

"It's times like this I think we're crazy." Brian laughed himself, pulling me closer to him as I fiddled with his fingers. "We have a baby who sleeps almost right through every night and yet we somehow aren't content with that." He added, shaking his head as I laughed again. You would think we were happy now that we were finally able to get some sleep, but the idea of us adding another little bub to our family was much more exciting to me than the idea of sleeping! I couldn't wait to be doing all of this again! The early morning feeds and nappy changes, the spit up and the crying (from not only the baby but I'm sure from Bri and I too), just all of it. I couldn't wait. I missed Ivy being a newborn (which isn't me saying I don't love seeing her grow and learn new things, of course seeing her learning amazes me daily!), and having Archie in the house showed me just how badly I craved another little baby. I'd never pressure Bri into having another baby before he was ready, and I honestly didn't think we were ready yet ourselves, but I couldn't help but be excited knowing that one day it'll happen again (if all goes to plan!). "I hope I can get pregnant again." He said quietly, the sadness in his voice catching my attention as I looked up to see him biting his lip.

"Hey, it'll happen Bri." I nodded, shifting to sit up beside him. "We don't have to worry about it now. We still have loads of time to have another baby." I said seriously, one hand squeezing his while the other cupped his cheek sweetly. "We don't have to stress yeah? We'll be okay." I smiled softly, not wanting him to feel doubtful about this. I know it'll be a long shot for him to be able to fall pregnant again, what with him only having the one ovary now, and then even if he was to there was still a chance another pregnancy could end the same as the last and we could lose another baby. It was all up in the air but I didn't want to be negative and think the worst when it could still happen. We could defy the odds and come out of this with another healthy little one! It can happen and I just want to stay as positive as I can.

"It'll be my fault if it doesn't happen." Bri sighed loudly as he shook his head, breaking my heart as I knew he still blamed himself for us losing the last baby.

"Bri no, don't do that, don't blame yourself." I shook my own head, dropping my hand from his cheek to take his spare one. "If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault." I sighed myself, squeezing his hands. "You shouldn't think that any of this is your fault love." I added, hating that he was feeling how he was and I couldn't seem to do anything to change his mind.

"I, I just want this to happen for us Rog." He sighed again, looking down at our hands. "We just want this so badly and, and I'm the one who has to actually get pregnant and if I can't now that, that I've had this surgery then-" He rambled, sounding like he was getting more upset the longer his rant went on.

"Bri stop, it's okay." I cut him off before he could work himself up too badly (it was WAY too early in the morning for him to be panicking so much). "If it's meant to be then it'll happen love. We can't force it and if this is it and it's just meant to be the three of us in our little family then that's how our life is going to be, and I'm completely content with that." I fibbed a little, trying to not add any more to his already overwhelmingly full plate by whining about how I REALLY wanted another baby. "Just you, me and Ivy." I added with a smile, squeezing his hands again as he looked up to me. As amazing as adding another baby to our family would be, of course I would still be content with just the three of us. You could've asked me years ago and I never would have even thought about having a family in my future and yet now here Bri and I were with our beautiful baby girl, this perfect little bundle who has brought nothing but love into our lives and fuck, I was more than grateful that I had to opportunity to be her Papa. I was so proud to show her off and call her mine. I didn't want me being excited to have another baby make it seem as though she was enough for me or for us because of course she was! Ivy meant everything to both Bri and I, 110% she was everything to us and we just wanted her to have a sibling one day. It won't be tomorrow or even sometime soon, it'll be when we're ready and when we know she'll be ready too. It's hard having a younger sibling, trust me I know what it's like having something tiny and new introduced into your life and taking up everyone's attention. We didn't want to wait too long after having Ivy to have another baby though, that way they could grow up together and it wouldn't be too much of a shock to her when there was someone else around who needed us too, but we know we all have to be ready for this and for now we aren't, and we're just content as a family unit of three.
As if she knew we were talking about her from her nursery, Ivy's cries suddenly came through on our baby monitor (which Bri's Mum and Dad generously gifted to us, god love them), the little one probably hearing all the fuss going on in the house already.