Just Smile

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT - PART THREE

*Am I really happy with this chapter? No 😔*

*3RD PERSON POV*
"I...I d-don't, I don't get it." Brian stuttered, not quite understanding what he was being told as he looked between his love and his doctor quickly. It had been a few hours since he'd been brought in and assessed and he was only now well enough to be told what actually was going on. "W-What's happened?" He questioned, his eyes focused now on Roger as the younger bit his lip, trying to force back tears as he knew exactly how this was going to end. He knew the guitarist had heard Penny's explanation but he just couldn't process what was going on, something Brian often did when he wanted to protect himself from something. "R-Rog?"

"Would you like me to explain it again?" Penny asked, her voice soft and calm as she tried to hopefully help Brian come to terms with what had gone on. The taller nodded, his hand getting a squeeze from Roger as he braced himself to re-hear everything. He was gutted, well and truly after listening to all the details from Penny before they'd both decided when to tell Brian. The drummer knew they weren't expecting a baby, nor did they really want one now, but the whole situation broke his heart as he now thought about them having more kids. Sure having two kids under two wouldn't have been ideal, but that doesn't mean that they couldn't do it. They'd already been through so much together and Roger knew that they could've done this too! "You've had what we call an ectopic or ovarian pregnancy," The doctor started, Brian's eyes already widening as if he didn't just hear this information five minutes prior. "that's what was causing both your strong stomach pain and some of your vomiting." She explained, earning nothing but silence back from Brian himself.

"Are you okay Bri?" Roger asked quietly, quick to squeeze his love's hand again to show him he was there. Brian looked blank, his expression being hard to read as he sat trying to let his brain absorb what he'd been told.

"It's a lot to understand." Penny nodded. "It's okay if you need some time." She added, her hand resting sweetly on the older's shoulder.

"I...I, I don't..." Brian shook his head, still confused. He was pregnant? Since when?! He didn't have any indication that he was having another baby. No sickness or tenderness or anything! Surely he would've known something? "A b-baby?" He questioned, his voice quiet as he once again locked eyes with Roger, the blonde nodding as he tried to push away more tears. "We could've had a-another baby?" He whispered, instantly feeling like he'd been punched in the gut at the idea of him losing their baby (although technically it wasn't a miscarriage).

"I'm so sorry this happened to you both." Penny said sadly, meaning all her condolences. The pair had already been through so much during Brian's pregnancy with Ivy and now to add this was just basically kicking them while they were still a little down. It hurt her to see them going through something else so heartbreaking.

"Is uh...is it...is it something I did? Did, did I cause t-this?" Brian sniffled, tears slipping down his cheeks as he held onto Roger's hand as tightly as he could, just needing some support. He probably caused this, he thought, just like his abruption last time. This was all his fault.

"No, no, not at all." Penny was quick to shut his idea down, shaking her head as Roger squeezed his boyfriend's hand again.

"B-But, but I was drinking last night." Brian sniffled again. "I, I drank so m-much. I, I probably did t-this." He cried, putting the blame fully on himself.

"Honey no." Penny said quickly once again. "You did nothing wrong Brian, nothing. Unfortunately this just happens and we don't know why but I can tell you it was not your fault at all." She soothed, Roger battling his own tears as he struggled with seeing Brian so upset.

"I, it's my f-fault." He sobbed, shaking his head. "I, I did t-this."

"Bri no. You, you didn't do anything w-wrong." Roger sighed, not wanting Brian to blame himself for something he had absolutely no control over. He understood that to the guitarist, losing a baby may feel like it was his own fault. Maybe he felt that he should've done more, he should've been able to look after the tiny life forming inside him, but Brian had no reason to think that anything that happened was his fault. He had done nothing wrong. He didn't even know he was bloody pregnant! "Y-You did nothing wrong baby, nothing." He said seriously as Brian tugged on his hand to show he wanted him to lie with him. Roger did as he was asked to do, quickly climbing on the bed beside his love to hold him as close as possible and give him some support. "I l-love you. I love you so much Bri, so fucking much." He sighed again, tightening his arms around him as Brian hid in his chest. "We'll be okay." He whispered, trying to sound positive even if he knew that this would hit them hard for a while.