Just Smile

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

*I'm so sorry again for the gap between chapters. I've got no excuse other than I've been lazy 😂🤦🏽‍♀️*

*JOHN'S POV*
*Two Weeks Later*
I tried my hardest to be quiet as I snuck back into bed from the bathroom, not wanting Freddie to find out I'd been up hurling my guts into the toilet for the third time this morning alone. I honestly felt for what Brian went through now after being struck with morning sickness myself. I was sure it wasn't going to come so early but here I was, hiding my sickness like he had been. I was only bloody six weeks pregnant! Yes, pregnant. I'm aware that sounds crazy but I'd been to see Penny and the result was crystal clear. I wasn't sure why but it was like I knew I was pregnant. I was sick and the usual things but it never occurred to me that it was anything else but this. I needed to tell Freddie. I hadn't grown the courage to tell him yet and I knew I was running out of time. It was only a matter of time before he found me being sick and I needed to tell him before he worked it out for himself. He'd hate me if he didn't hear it from me first, I know he would.

"What are you doin' up so early love?" My boyfriend mumbled, snapping me out of my thoughts as he pulled me close to him.

"O-Oh, uh, I just, I needed some water." I mumbled myself, feeling terrible for lying as I settled back under the covers, my head resting on his chest as he tightened his arms around me.

"Three times in one morning?" Freddie quizzed, his tone telling me that he knew I was lying to him. I hated that he was such a light sleeper sometimes, the sneaky bastard. "Are you okay lovey?" He asked when I didn't respond, shuffling to sit up a bit more as I sighed, doing the same so I was beside him. "John?" He quizzed again. "What's the matter?" He questioned, tilting my chin so our eyes finally met.

"N-Nothing." I shrugged, clearly giving away that something was in fact, the matter. "I was just thirsty, that's all." I added quietly, my stomach churning again at the idea of telling him about this. I had to tell him. I knew that I had to tell him. He'll be happy once I've told him. Freddie's always wanted a family, wanted kids. I'm sure he'll be over the moon! Why wouldn't he be?

"You know you've always been a terrible liar John." Freddie sighed, his eyes looking concerned as we kept each other's gaze. "Whatever's bothering you, you know you can tell me darling. I'm always here." He said seriously, making me feel even worse for not just telling him sooner. I'd gone alone to find out if my suspicions were true, just in case I wasn't actually pregnant. I knew he'd be beyond excited if I told him I thought I was having a baby and I couldn't see the look of disappointment on his face if I wasn't pregnant and I dragged him along to find out I had the damn flu or something! I wasn't going to risk hurting him like that, so I went alone and now I've been carrying this secret with me for the last two weeks. I should've told him sooner. I should've told him the day I came home from the appointment but I couldn't. I thought I would be okay, mentally anyway, with this seeing as though I kind of picked it, but it took more out of me than I was expecting and I needed to become comfortable with the idea of having this baby before I told him about it. "You said you'd talk to me if you were feeling how you were John." He sighed again, looking a little hurt.

"I'm, it's...it's not that." I sighed myself, my guilt only worsening over not telling him what he deserved to know.

"It seems like it's something to do with that." Freddie mumbled, dropping my chin as he averted his eyes away from me.

"I promise you it's not Fred." I said quickly, grabbing his hands to hold him in place before he could move away from me completely. "I told you I'd tell you if I was feeling that way again and I meant it." I said seriously, squeezing his hands as he looked back up to me. "This...this is the complete opposite of that." I sighed again.