My weird girlfriend

the hidden tears

Kayla's POV

'what???'- halos lumipad ang tutuli ko sa lakas ng pagka-what ni Yugi.. buti nalang malayo kami sa librarian at di niya narinig ang ingay namin.

'what?' - si Yugi ulit sa mas mahinang boses dahil alam naman naming pareho na nasa library kami

nagmumokmok lagi si Yugi dito sa library, aywan kung ano ang binabasa o siguro iniiwasan niya lang magtagpo sila ni Matteo.

'oo'- simpling sagot ko sa kanya. 

but waitttt.. I'm not confessing my feeling to Yugi....yet.

he smiled at me like he really liked what he heard. I told him that Matteo asked me out on a date.

'aywan ko kung bakit gustong-gusto mong nagiging hell ang buhay ko dahil sa peste mong kaibigan..o ex-kaibigan'

'ex kaibigan, future bayaw' - pilyo itong tumawa

syempre umaray ang puso ko don diba. hay Yugi..kailan mo makikita na kahit kailan wala kayong pag-asa ni Lei? you two are both very different..or mas tamang sabihin na Lei is different. Indeed, she looks like an angel, kahit nga ako napatulala ng makita siya but she is different. Or what I feel towards her is just a jealousy? 

'so, did you say yes?'- Yugi

'no'- simpli kong sagot. aywan ba kung bakit pa ako nag expect na kahit katiting magseselos man lang si Yugi kay Matteo! eh wala naman ako mapulot sa isang 'to. ipagduldulan pa ako sa kaibigan niya. tuloy disappointed much.

'You should have said yes'- ngiti ngiti pa sabi niya

I swallowed the bitterness. 

'ang sabi mo i-distract ko lang si Matteo..aba pati pakikipag-date sa sungit na yon, kailangan kong gawin para seo?'

'well, that's because I see your chemistry'

'tse, chemistry! asan banda? eh halos opposite kami non!'

'and in Chemistry, opposite attract each---'

'tigilan mo ko'

natawa  siya.

'don't you see anything good about Matteo Kayl?'

'ang dami kong nakita sa kanya..apakayabang, napakasuplado, apaka demanding, apa -kasungit...anything good? wala!'

and Yugi looked at me and his eyes were teasing

natawa ako at sabay hampas sa kanya

'tamang-tama, kung makikipagdate ka kay Matteo sa Sunday, may chance akong di mabugbog kung susunduin ko si Lei para sa date din namin sa Sunday'

'what? Is she talking to you already?'

'no...but I asked her to go out with me on Sunday'

'she said yes?'

'No'

'oh di pano kung di pala siya sasama seo'

napatigil saglit si Yugi

'I guess, I'll try again next time. Until she forgives me. I'm not giving up just yet'- very calm yet very sad ang boses ni Yugi

I couldn't look straight at Yugi... I'm afraid he could see the pain in my eyes.

'tsaka gigirahin ko yong bahay niya kung di siya lalabas'- joke niya ksi siguro napansin niya na bigla kaming nalungkot na dalawa

I am sorry Yugi but I fervently pray every time that Lei and you will never get back to each other again. I'm bad, I know but I can't help praying it.

I'm sad not because he's sad loving a girl who's not willing to talk to him anymore but because I couldn't get myself to tell him what I really want him to know.

I should give him the letter. I took the letter out na nakaipit lang sa notebook ko

'do you know Kayl that Lei has never experienced watching a movie in the cinema yet? and I want her to experience the things that normal people at her age get to experience. I want her to show the world behind her isolated doors.' 

he stopped a little to smile painfully

'I remembered how you helped me overcome an evil force inside me...and I wanna do that with Lei.'

I get what Yugi's telling me. he sees himself to Lei when he was little and was afraid of a lot of things. he had undergone professional help to cope with things and with the help of people who love him, he's able to overcome his demons. He's hoping he could do the same with Lei. And I am so evil of not caring about what Lei's going through because I'm selfish to have Yugi for myself.

I wanted to cry... but I suppressed by clearing my throat.

'di naman kaya awa lang yang nararamdaman mo kay lei? at tsaka andiyan kaya si Matteo para sa kapatid niya'

tumingin sa akin si Yugi

'I know I can help her. There is no one who is more patient to understand people who are going through something than those who love them. And I know that Lei...that..I am special to her too.'

nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko.. I put the letter back into my bag.

He held my hand and hugged me. 'thank you Kayl for always being there for me'

he stood up and before he left, he said, 'see ya around. love ya.' tas ginulo ang buhok ko. that's his brotherly gesture.

'I love you too.'- I said but he didn't hear it.

Then my tears freely flowed on my face. I tasted it's bitterness on my lips. must be the taste of my heart. Then again, I cried silently sa isang sulok na 'to ng library.