one shots (remington leith)

fix

Warnings: sad
A/N THIS IS SAD. THIS HAPPENED TO ME (DIALOGUE CHANGE) RECENTLY, AND I THINK THAT WRITING HAS BECOME A SPORADIC RELIEVER FOR ME. SO IM SORRY ABOUT THIS
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"It should've been like this from the start."

"Please don't leave, let me fix this"

"I don't want you to fix it. I want you out of my life"

"You're my only family left, please."

"I don't care. I didn't ask for this burden."

"You're nothing. You'll never see me again."

Those were the last words I'd heard from my best friend, if that's what you want to call that anymore I guess.
I was completely and utterly alone. I had nothing. nothing.

My phone fell from my hands, hit my mattress and landed straight on the floor. I heaved. My body giving up all the tension it had just built reading those words.
I don't think this was sadness, it wasn't regret, or anxiety.

I think this was fear, this was pure fear that my body didn't know how to handle I sucked in a breath and heaved again, letting out a muffled wail and covering my mouth with my hand to subdue the sound. My tears came so fast, that the stinging seemed to be already there. My nose ran and my fingers shook.

I held my breath hoping to make it stop, the crying, the sound, the tears, the hurt, the heartbeat..

I felt an energy, a presence coming
And I lifted my head, and my blood shot eyes met his. I watched all expression on his face drop. His chest let go of the breath it was trying to take in, the small smile on his face not just melt, but drop. It made me feel disgusting

I immediately looked away. I must've looked pathetic, weak. "Rem-" I trailed off not to sure what to say.
He dropped to his knees in front of me. "I'm- I'm gonna hug you now." He said frightened, and I just flicked my eyes up to him but quickly back down. He wrapped his arms around me and I let out and involuntary cry that I desperately tried to hold in. He held me tight and still, he let go briefly to sit on my bed and hug me again properly, this time I broke.

I wrapped my arms around him and put all my dead weight onto him. He didn't seem to mind, he held me tighter and rubbed my back.
He hugged me until my breathing slowed and my eyes no longer leaked but only stung, my lips were dry and hurting, my hands were frozen, but he was warm. And now he was afraid.
I looked at his face and the tears were in his eyes, and his brows were furrowed in confusion. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out.
I closed my lips again. Looking at my hands.

"You don't need to tell me, but I'm here if you want to." He said licking his bottom lip. I sniffled and swallowed hard, wiping my nose.
"Are you okay?" He asked me. I pressed my lips and nodded yes, and I felt the tears well up again,
He pulled me towards him and laid down letting me hug his chest as I caught my breath once again.

"I'm right here" he repeated. Stroking my head, his voice careful and soft.
"I'm sorry-" I breathed. "Don't." He said.
"It's okay." He said.

I found my breath again, but didn't know if it would stay with me this time.
"Remmy, she left." I spoke so so quietly I was afraid he didn't hear. "How do you know?" He caught on quickly, and I realized, I wasn't alone. But it hurt nonetheless.

"She said I'll never see her again." I whispered. Knowing I probably got rear stains on his shirt.
He adjusted our position so he was lying across from me, on his side, facing me. He wiped a tear from my face.

She was the only person that looked out for me for last 8 years. When I was on my own she took me in, and I thanked her everyday and she became like my sister,
But when she wanted change, I was still saving money to buy a place of my own, to give her some cash to thank her.
I was taking too long, and I had feared this for months now, and now it would be any day before she snapped and moved out before I was capable of doing the same. We promised we would wait for eachother to be ready, and separate at the same time, so we could grow individually - together,

But she changed her mind, she wanted to live with her boyfriend NOW. And our plan wasn't for for her needs anymore, and she wanted to wash her hands of me,

Which was understandable, but I never thought I was a burden in the first place, you'd never know I lived with her; I kept to myself and taught myself how to get out and grow, but I just wasn't fucking fast enough. Our deadline was a year from now, but she decided, without telling me prior- that that was too long..

"So what will you do?" He asked me, but tears didn't come this time. Even though i was sure they would, I just said, very calmly; "I'll figure it out."

He took a deep breath, not satisfied with my answer.
"You can stay with me, but I meant what are you gonna do with what she said to you?" He said. "You don't have to do that, I can figure this out, and I'm gonna ask to talk to her about it again."

Remingtons eyes dropped. "You're gonna stay with me, and you're not gonna beg someone that breaks their own deal." He said matter of factly.
I just blinked at him. I'd briefly stressed this to him before because I was scared, so he knew what had happened with out having me retelling him.

"It's not lack of time, it's lack of interest, you are not a burden, you are independent and caring. You do not. Not. Beg for love" he said to me, and my lips parted.

"Okay?" He asked me, and i took in his words, I knew he was right. But fuck did it still sting. He waited for my response.

"Okay."