Milk Tea: *sets plate of chicken pizza down* Just try it, Master Attendant!
MA: *points to chicken pizza* This is brilliant
MA: *grabs Pizza* But I like this better
Pizza: *having one of his emotional breakdowns* Get your fucking hands OFF of me
~~~~
Pizza: Anyone wanna get in an argument with me?
Spaghetti: Ok, Cheese is useless and all she does is sit around and eat
Pizza: I was kidding but you know what fuck you for real we gonna throw hands and don't you even think about begging Cassata for help this time around
~~~~
Pizza: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread
MA: Are you okay???
Pizza: My sister stole my fucking hat again
~~~~
*Whiskey and Spaghetti have been missing for hours*
Pizza: Today I found out that apparently if you kill someone in international waters on an unregistered boat then throw the body overboard they can't trace it back to any one legal system so you can't be prosecuted for their murder
Cassata: so what did you do today
~~~~
Black Forest Cake: Y'all ever just suddenly have the overwhelming urge to be near Pizza?? Like not actively but you just wanna... be in his warm and loving presence and see that smile
Spaghetti, remembering what happened a few parts ago: That's how he tricks you
Black Forest Cake: This is so ominous am I gonna die
Pizza: Hm?
~~~~
Pizza: *drawing him and the others as Animal Crossing characters* :D
Omurice: Is this supposed to be Beastars??
Pizza:
~~~~
Moon Cake: What emotion do you make your jokes from?
Pizza, staring at Cassata: Homosexuality
~~~~
Everyone: *trying to see Pizza without his braid*
Cheese: Y'all actually obsessed with my brother
Cassata: *rubbing Pizza's back* It's okay sweetie just go back to bed
Pizza: *crying lightly* It's 3 in the morning why won't they go to bed
~~~~
Pizza: If you aren't happy single, you won't be happy taken. Happiness comes from spaghetti, not from relationships.
Spaghetti: ??
Pizza: *grabs knife* Not you
~~~~
Olivia: How are you always in such a good mood?
Ichi: They saw Pizza first thing today
Olivia: O... kay....? He's just another Food Soul.... what's so special about him--
MA: If Pizza is one of the first things I see, it will be a good day. He has blessed me with his presence, and that's all I could ever ask of him.
~~~~
Pizza, to Cheese: I'M NOT GAY
*Cassata comes into existence*
Pizza, to Cheese: OK MAYBE I'M A LITTLE GAY
~~~~
Tiramisu: You can't make such inappropriate jokes in front of the baby!
Pizza: Okay guys can you actually just stop? Like I know where babies actually come from, I know what Coffee and Chocolate do on Friday nights. Like yeah I'm the "baby" one of this whole place but like come on guys seriously, I'm a fucking teenager and I don't appreciate you all treating me like I'm this fragile doll that needs to be protected? Like I thought it was cute and harmless at first but now you're all just being really oppressive and I feel like I can't talk to any of you, and like I feel like you're all fantasizing about me being this smiley figure?
Pizza: So what I'm saying is I want to be seen more equal to all of you and to not be treated as some long lost prize for display and everyone else's benefits
Everyone:
~~~~
Pizza: Hey villagers!
Villagers: Hm? Yes Pizza sweetie?
Pizza: Look at how hard I can cry!
Pizza: *shoots out giant tsunamis*
*years later*
Yuxiang: And that's how the Ancient Sea came to be
~~~~
Sandwich: Have you ever been too nice and ended up in a situation that could've been avoided if you just would've been an asshole?
Pizza: YUP
Pizza: MANY TIMES MY GOOD FRIEND
Red Wine: Oh please, name one time
Pizza: *getting pampered by everyone* the entire time i've been here
~~~~
Everyone: Here comes a special boy! Here comes a special boy! Here comes a special boy! Here comes a special boy! Here comes a special boy! Here comes a special boy!
Pizza: *regretfully walks into the room*
Everyone: HE'S HERE!
~~~~
Steak: It's okay Master Attendant, I'll go with you!
MA: No Steak, I can't risk losing anyone I care about
Pizza: I'll go! I have experience with fighting strange Fallen Angels and I'm a good asset to a team--
Everyone: NO
Pizza: *teary eyed* YOU ALL NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING
~~~~
Pizza: Master Attendant, I think it's time we talked
MA: Oh? About what?
Pizza: Why do you have an entire shrine dedicated to me, and a life-sized cardboard cutout of me? That's just creepy
MA: What are you gonna do? Call Cassata?
Pizza:
