What It's Like Being A Sunflower

Chapter 35- Umbrella

Chapter 35- Umbrella

Adrian's PoV

I inhaled the lit cigarette, trapped between my fingers, allowing the smoke to fill my lungs with pleasure. Relaxing my shoulder, the small drug took me from reality into a fantasy. Despite this, I used to be completely fine before. Perfectly fine. The taste that mingled around my mouth was horrifying.

I tossed it outside the window, not liking the experience as I used to. Every puff I smoked her face flashed in my head, pleading for me to stop.

Her face had been flickering in my mind for the past two weeks.

And I couldn't seem to get her out.

What was different was that whenever I thought about her, I used to see yellow, joy, beauty. Now I only saw death in black and white. I utterly demolished her, drowning her brightness in my dark demeanour.

I felt like beating myself up that day when I said all those awful remarks to her. How I must've made her upset and angry at me. I deserved it. She had the right to be.

That was when it clicked in my head, it was probably best to not be around her anymore. How many more times would it be when I turned her smiles into a frowns. When I turned her laughs into cries. And when I turned her bright, early mornings into sleepless nights. I rather walk out of her life instead of making her feel miserable.

But I made the biggest fucking mistake by kissing her. Why the fuck did I do that to her? I kissed her and left her lost, never showing her way out of the maze I had created around her. I played with her emotions much like the player people described me as. She probably agreed with everyone, again, I didn't blame her.

What made it worse, was when I kissed Trisha in front of her. I caught a glimpse of how Milas face drained from colour, looking like she was going to puke all over the floor. The kiss wasn't worth the jealousy I was trying to receive, I still wasn't satisfied.

Alternatively, I wanted it be me kissing Mila. I wanted to know how her gentle, strawberry, crimson lips felt against mine again. It was wickedly perfect, almost like an illegal drug that would only benefit me, no harm whatsoever. She was innocent, an angel from the heaven, yet I vanquished her in the pit of my hell fire.

I ambled towards my desk and took a seat on my wheeled chair, my eyes roaming over the colourful, squared papers scattered all over my desk. I hesitantly picked a random paper crane with yellow triangles all over it from my drawer.

Her favourite colour was yellow, I could tell because she wore soo much of it. I suppose it was because she was soo interested in those stupid sunflowers.

I'd spent soo long creating these cranes ever since my grandad taught me how to. I was soo mesmerised by the little birds he'd produce from a thin piece of paper. So I asked him if he could teach me, and he did. Luckily, he taught me before he died, and I've never stopped making them.

I remember crying at his funeral when I was thirteen. Noting how I'd never have my favourite grandad make paper cranes with me and gift them to grandma.

But eventually, everyone dies.

I added my own little spin by writing quotes on them. Quotes I never took or listened to, but I knew one person who would.

And that was Mila.

The day when she came up to me with a sunflower made me think that she was a lunatic to try and cross my path.

But the day when she said, 'Sunflowers end up facing the sun, but they have to go through a lot of dirt to find their way.' I knew I was going to be in trouble if I carried on hanging around with her. I continued. I didn't want to, but for some reason I did.