Letters || TaeJin ✔

31. Disappointments

AN:

I am honestly overwhelmed (in a very good way) that the last chapter has 200+ comments. I really can't believe it! Thank you so much for supporting this book. I love you all.

***

SEOKJIN

I am walking towards the nearest bus station from work. I promised Jungkook that I will treat him street foods tonight but since Hoseok insisted that he will treat us for dinner, well, who will say no to free food? At least, some decent food after a tiring day.

At last, my phone rings.

"Where are you?" I asked immediately as soon as I pick up.

"I'm in Seoul Grand Hotel."

I look up to see the facade of the five-star hotel from where I am currently standing. "And what are you doing there?" I walk fast. If he's doing something unimaginable there, I will cut off his dick.

"My professor attended a convention here. He agreed to meet me and some of my classmates in the lobby so we can submit our project. It's deadline today so we have no choice."

I sigh in relief. I don't know why I'm being paranoid. "That's great to hear. I'm nearby. Where will I meet you?"

"I'll meet you outside the hotel. At the west wing near the hotel restaurant facing the main road."

"Okay. Give me 2 minutes."

I am always worried about Jungkook dating. It's not that I am overprotective but you know, youngsters right now can be adventurous and I hate thinking about the possibilities.

As I cross the street, I can already see him standing in front of a big post beside a wide glass wall. I can see the chandelier shining from the inside. The interiors of the restaurant, even from afar, are utterly amazing. I wish I can seat there one day and eat foods that I cannot even pronounce the name. I laughed at myself for my crazy thoughts.

As I walk towards Jungkook, he waves after seeing me. He approaches me with a big smile on his face. "You should treat me because I finished the project. I want cheese ramyun."

I laughed at his request. Jungkook isn't hard to please. Instant noodles are enough to make him happy.

"We will eat somewhere else. Hoseok will pay the half. It's a nice place. You deserve to burp tonight." I winked at him and Jungkook's face brights up.

"Then why are we still here? Let's go!" He said excitedly. He immediately puts his arm on my shoulder and drags me towards the sidewalk. "Is that Jimin-hyung's car?"

I look at the blue car parked on the lot. Then I remember, tonight is his meet up with Mr. Kim. I turned my face to the restaurant and I thought my heart drops on my stomach. I saw Mr. Kim sitting down and looking up at Jimin. They met. Finally.

I pulled Jungkook away. I don't want Jimin or Mr. Kim to see me. I don't want them to mistake me as spying. Especially Jimin.

I am happy for Jimin but part of me feels like dying. I don't understand why I should feel that way. I feel sad and empty. And I know it's not right. Why should I?

"Are you okay?" Jungkook nudged me on my side. Perhaps, wondering why I immediately went silent.

"Nothing. I'm just tired. By the way, we will eat at Mrs. Lee's. Have you been there?" I asked, changing the topic.

Jungkook puts his arm back on my shoulders and pulls me closer. "Whatever you're going through right now, it will be okay soon. Maybe you don't want to share it with me but I want you to know that I'm here to listen. I know you hyung. I know there's something bothering you. Or is it someone? Boyfriend? Perhaps?"

I chuckled by his guesses. It's true, what's bothering me are both someone and something. But I don't want him to worry more. I want him to worry only about school. Everything else, I want to handle myself.

"I don't have a boyfriend. So you really think I'll have time for that?"

Jungkook pouts at me, ruffling my hair. "You can date if you want to. You're at the right age. I don't want you to focus only on me. Why don't you think of yourself once in a while?"

I furrowed my brows. I appreciate what he said but it feels like it has a double meaning. "Wait! Are you saying that because you want to date someone?"

Jungkook laughed at me. "I see. I'm expecting that. I'm not dating anyone and if ever, I will tell you. What I'm just saying, you're working so damn hard that you're forgetting that you need time for yourself too. I'm a grown-ass man. I can handle myself even if you go on a date or decided to get married."

"I don't have plans yet and besides, I don't have the opportunity to meet up anyone. I rarely go out." I shake my head to counter him. I really do think I'm not yet ready.

"How about Mr. Min? He likes you, right?"

The question surprises me. I'm not expecting that since I already answered that a few days ago. "Mr. Min is just a friend. Please, Kookie, I'm not dating anyone right now and no one is asking me out. Just like you, I will say it if there's someone eyeing me. As of now, there's none. Okay?"

***

"Kookie! My favorite handsome person in this world. Have a seat and let hyung feed you." Hoseok said as we settle down on our seat. Hoseok is always like that to Jungkook. Babying him whenever he has the opportunity.

Our dinner is fun and relaxing. It's great to have this kind of bonding once in a while. I don't go out a lot. Not only because it's not my thing, but I also have no budget for that. Though I wish this to happen a lot.

While walking home, Jungkook's smile never leaves. I know he's happy. I can't remember the last time I took him out for a decent dinner. It's always the street foods or the food coming from Jimin's kitchen. That's all I can offer to him. Something that's making me guilty and useless.

I remember Mr. Kim and Jimin eating inside that luxury hotel. The lights are bright and they are sitting on a soft couch. Waiters in suit serving them food. They are probably drinking an expensive wine while holding hands. I mock myself for thinking that Mr. Kim might probably like me. Liking him is like liking a celebrity hoping that one day, we will meet and fall in love. Silly thoughts. Something my age should not be thinking about in the first place.

My eyes widened when Jungkook gripped my hand tightly and pulled me. I did not realize that we are crossing the street. "It will be okay." He smiled to reassure me. His hand tightened around mines. I look in his eyes and I can see hope. Jungkook is my hope. And it feels good that even if I don't speak, he knows what's inside of me. Even if he doesn't know what's going on, he will reassure me that it's going to be okay.

***

Taehyung

The night went by so fast. I lost track of time while talking to Jimin. We talk about college days, my life abroad, and his life here. It's great to hear that he waited for me to be back thus giving him an idea to send home-made food.

I was supposed to drive him home but since he brought his car, we decided to just do it next time. It's a fun meet up. I can't deny that. Somehow, I enjoyed it but something inside me feels empty. As weird as it may sound, I am not fully happy. I don't know what's missing.

My car slowly come into a halt as soon as the traffic light turned orange then to red. Just in time, my car is at the front of the traffic, pedestrian crossing in front of me. And I don't know if it's just a coincidence or fate wanted me to realize something. I saw Jin again. Holding hands with a guy while crossing the street. The same guy he met outside the hotel. I watched them cross the street until they are both out of sight. My mind now flooded with unidentified thoughts. My heart is now overflowing with unnecessary emotions. I can't comprehend what's happening.

Then I heard loud horns from behind me. The light is now green. I'm not sure how long. I just drive fast. I wish the emptiness will just go away, fast like how I am driving now. Now I know that too much hoping will not do any good.