Letters || TaeJin ✔

26. Shoulder to cry on

Seokjin

I sometimes envy Jimin. He is rich, he is a university graduate, he has his own business, he has his own apartment, a high-end car, he can buy whatever he wants, he loves what he's doing, and he can do whatever he wants without worry. Unlike me, I find it difficult to make ends meet.

On my way to the bar where Jimin asked me to go, I pass by a flea market. I noticed one of the stores with the same exact replica of the scarf Jimin gave me. I peek at the tag price and it's only $5.00. Lately, I began to question my friendship with Jimin. I know it's starting to fall apart.

I sigh in disappointment. I really don't mind if he will give me something worth a dollar. I'm not after the price. For me, it's the thought that counts. But for him, making me look stupid because I don't know anything about luxury brands, that's something that hurts my feelings. Perhaps, he was sure that I wouldn't find out because I can't even buy an authentic one. He was certain that I don't know how to differentiate an authentic from a fake one. Sadly, I already did. And what he did embarrass me in front of Mr. Kim.

I did not notice that I am already crying. It's the saleslady who made me realize when she asked me if I'm okay. I walked away. I can't believe I'm crying like an idiot over a scarf. But thinking of how Jimin made me look dumb, I can say that he took advantage of my ignorance.

I made sure that I pull my self together before facing Jimin. I already saw his car parked in front of the bar. I'm not familiar with bars. Though Jimin's restaurant transforms into a bar at night, I never really worked on that shift.

The place is a bit noisy. I can smell cigarette smoke as soon as I went in, making me cough. Most of the people around are, if not all, holding a bottle of alcoholic drinks and dancing.

"Do you have a reservation, sir?" A woman approached me, holding a tablet, almost shouting at me because of the loud music inside the bar.

"I'm with Park Jimin," I answered.

She browses on her tablet and looks back at me. "VIP Room Number 3. The room is upstairs."

I nod before making my way upstairs. Removing the scarf around my neck and tucking it inside my bag. I don't want Jimin to ask who gave it to me. I don't want him to misunderstand.

I knock before entering. Jimin smiles as soon as he saw me, tapping the seat beside him.

There are several bottles of drinks on the round table in front of us, and a wide variety of finger foods.

"I'm sorry if I started early. I ordered steak for you. It's not good to drink alcohol without having dinner." He placed the plate in front of me. The truth I'm not yet hungry as I already ate dinner at Mr. Kim's home. But I still take the food.

"Thank you. I'm sorry if I made you wait."

Jimin shrugged. His smile is so different. It's more of a forced smile. "Are you okay?" I asked, trying to catch his sad eyes.

He shrugged again. "I'm not sure."

"Is it your father again?"

He chuckled. Drinking almost half of the drink in the bottle before looking at me. "You know me well. That's why I called you. At least, I don't need to unearth my past problems."

"What is it this time?"

Jimin sniffed. Slouching on the couch and looking on the ceiling. "Dad is sick." He barked a laugh while wiping his tears. "You know how much I dreamt of having my own restaurant. I guess I almost looked like a broken record when I kept on mentioning that to you back in the days.

And now, he wanted me to give it up so I can take over the company. He is sick. He is dying. I don't know what to do."

I stared at him not knowing what to say. I'm not sure how ill his father is right now but I'm sure he's torn between his own business and their family business.

"Is it not possible that you maintain your restaurant while managing your father's company? Why don't you hire someone to manage your business?" I know nothing about business. I'm only a high school undergraduate. But with a graduate like Jimin with parents involved in the business, I think he can manage both at the same time.

Jimin took a deep breath, finishing his bottle of drink. "You know that I am very hands-on. Chim's is a dream come true. I cannot just give up on that. It's in our family business that I know nothing about. I'm just so sick of them reminding me about legacy, how well known our company is, and all those other bullshit. I don't care, really! It's not what I want in life. They can sell it I don't mind.

When I was in college, they wanted me to take up a business course. That's where I spotted Taehyung. When I graduated, I left home. My dad was so angry. When I built Chim's, he became angrier. Now that he's sick, he called me asking me to come home. I wonder why they cannot understand me? You know, I have my own dreams too. I love my dad but I love Chim's too."

I tried to gather my thoughts and words. I'm not sure what to say and how to make him feel better. "I don't know what to say. I'll be honest with you, I can't relate, really. I know it's hard but do whatever makes you happy.

It's hard to wake up each day, going to a place with a heavy heart, struggling to be someone you're not, forcing yourself to things you don't have an interest in. I mean, you're still young, you have a lot of choices. It's hard to handle something being entrusted to you then failing in the end. I'm not sure if I said it right or if I made sense, but--"

Jimin hugged me causing me to stop what I am saying. He's not crying, he just rests his chin on my shoulder and his arms tightened around me. "I'm not wrong to call you. You always support me in whatever I want. I always have your good words, your back, your shoulders, and your arms. I love you Jin. I'm sorry if I am acting like a complete bitch. I'm sorry if it has to be you. I'm sorry, Jin. Please forgive me."

Being his friend, I hope I can still call our relationship as such, all I can do is to listen to him and offer my shoulder if he needed to cry. Perhaps, it's been so hard for him lately. And now I understand why he's acting up. Though I still don't get why he needed to poke me in the head and make me look stupid by giving me a fake scarf, I am still hoping that he will change. Or this night will bring back the friendship that we lost.