Destiel One Shots

88. One Hundred Sleepless Nights

The three boys were on a hunt, and they were going to stay at a motel. Cas rented their room, but Dean was a bit surprised by their sleeping arrangements.

"Cas?" He asked.

"Yes, Dean?"

"There are only two beds."

"Yes. I am sorry, Dean, but this was the last room available. I am truly sorry."

"Nah, don't be. One of us can just sleep in the floor."

Sam suddenly yelled, "NOT IT!"

Cas joined in, "NOT IT!"

"Oh come on! How old are you two?"

Sam smiled. "Whatever. I'm not sleeping in the damn floor."

"What, you think I want to?"

"No, that's why I said 'not it'."

Cas sighed. "Dean, I can sleep in the floor. You can sleep in my bed if you wish. I don't really need a bed."

"Cas, it's fine."

"Dean, I'm the one who rented this room to begin with. This is my doing, the least I can do is repay you for that."

Dean sighed. He didn't want Cas to sleep in the floor. The poor guy wouldn't get much of any sleep at all. "Fine. If you insist."

That night, as Sam slept like a rock, Dean was having trouble sleeping at all. This was a regular occurrence. He'd just lie in bed, ruminating about the day. Though tonight, he found himself thinking about Cas.

The poor guy was human now. It was a serious game-changer for him. He had no idea how to live as a full on Homo sapien.

He looked down at the ex angel, who was trying to sleep on the left side of Dean's bed. "Cas?" He whispered.

"Yes, Dean?" Cas whispered back.

"You having trouble sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Me too. Again."

"You haven't been sleeping?"

"Well, I usually can't get to sleep until three in the morning. I just end up... thinking." He had never told anyone about this. Why now?

"What do you think about?"

"Everything, really. The things I've seen, the things I've done, the whole world I guess. Just everything."

"I find myself in deep thought as well. About... being human, everything that lead to my... grace being lost. The mistakes I made. Every damn mistake that lead to the fall. All my brothers and sisters fell... and it was my fault, Dean. My fault."

"C'mon, Cas. Don't beat yourself up. These things just happen, man."

"Dean... they all fell. All of them. And... I was the cause of that. It was me. It was all my fault." And the worst part; he sounded like he was about to cry.

"Cas, come here. Get up here."

Cas got up and sat on the bed next to Dean with tears in his eyes. He couldn't speak past his tightened throat.

"Listen to me, man. You've gotta stop blaming yourself for all of this. I know you feel like this all happened because of you, but you're not the only one at fault here. You gotta stop putting yourself down. Just stop."

"Dean," Cas sniffed. "They're... they were all cast out of heaven. They fell, Dean. They all fell." He choked back a sob.

"It'll be okay. You didn't mean for it to happen."