Icy like diamonds || Ryeji

Chapter 20

(Author's note: Still haven't slept and kcon starts in a few hours. Seems like we aren't sleeping tonight but I wanted to use this time to write something for you all.)

Ryujin stood in front of the elevator, debating whether or not she should invade Yeji's personal space.

Normally, such thing wouldn't have crossed her mind. Despite how persistent and annoying she could be, Ryujin prided herself in being respectful and not crossing the lines imposed on her by Yeji or anyone else for that matter.

Yet with each passing second, she felt worse about the events that had transpired earlier. Ryujin wasn't even sure exactly what got her feeling so terrible. Yeji had been rude for the entirety of the two months they had been living together, yet, somehow, being that rude back got her feeling apologetic. Maybe wishful that she could be able to take it all back. Her words, her actions, everything. She wanted to take back her jealousy, her paranoid thoughts, the words that had left her lips.

Ryujin knew that she shouldn't have assumed things nor accused Yeji of such thing as being interested in her younger sister. Nor should she have told her that her attitude was why people hated her. In truth, she wouldn't even be aware that people hated Yeji if the latter hadn't informed her of such thing. And although she was cold, Ryujin didn't truly know why Yeji was that way or if that was why others hated her. In any case, even if she was right, it was in bad taste to say such thing.

Her blunt and outspoken personality usually made for a lack of guilt whenever she said such things. Yet Ryujin couldn't help but be guilt ridden. It was making her feel sick to the stomach and she wasn't entirely sure why. Of course, her actions were bad but why was she feeling this way? Why did she actually care?

Perhaps it was because deep down, she didn't like to see Yeji be so upset. Even if they were nothing but acquaintances, in spite of having lived together for two months, she didn't want to upset Yeji. Sure, the girl was probably one of the rudest people she had ever encountered in her life. And yet, as Ryujin had told her before, she didn't hate her. Not in the slightest. Whenever she searched within herself for what feelings described how she felt, she wouldn't name hatred. She felt sadness they didn't get along and couldn't seem to form a connection, she felt frustration over their current situation, sometimes she felt annoyance and irritation.

Her finger pressed the button to call the elevator. Her body suddenly affected by the nervousness she was feeling. For some reason it was as if her body temperature had suddenly gone up. Her fingers nervously playing with the sleeves of her hoodie. What would Yeji's reaction be?

The moment the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened widely, Ryujin continuously pressed the button to open the doors. Standing there hesitatingly. She didn't want to leave that elevator without Yeji's permission to do so. For some reason, she felt that once she stepped foot outside the metal box, there would be no coming back for them. It would ruin whatever chance she had of Yeji ever trusting her.

With her free hand, she took out her phone and texted the older girl. Letting her know she where she was and that she should meet her there. After a few seconds, her message was read but no response was sent her way. Leaving her thinking the other had rejected such request.

Then, as suddenly as possible, a door opened widely, revealing a cat eyed girl staring at her with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?"

Ryujin shrugged, "Trying to apologize."

She received an eyebrow raise from the older girl who was still looking curiously at her. Looking very surprised still by her presence.

"I don't want your apology."

"Why?"

Yeji seemed taken back from her question, certainly not expecting it. She could see the other girl hesitating to speak, pursing her lips for a second before finally speaking. "Why would I want an apology from you? If you said those words, it must be because you think them truth, is it not? If you made those assumptions, it must be because you think that lowly of me, is it not true? Therefore, why would I want an apology for your honesty?"