When Universe Conspires

83 - Connection

(Yeji)

I woke up 7 in the morning. I had 3 hours of sleep. Chaeyoung brought me home past 3AM and expectedly, sleep didn't come to me easily.

I thought about what has become of me. What I was doing before I become who I am today. If I made the right decisions in life. If I was serving a purpose. If I am a good person. If I can make things right or is it too late now?

I thought about my family. The family I erased from my life as soon as I was kicked out at the age of 12. I turned my back on them. I was thrown out of the house for being useless and gay. I am an only child back then. My parents work 3 jobs each for us to be able to live by. I didn't want to burden them so I chose not to attend school. When they thought I was just playing with kids my age, I was teaching myself how to read and write. When I reached the age of 8, I got interested in watching an underground fight that involves kids, ages 7 to 13. I followed a friend I used to play with when I was a toddler. She never played with me anymore when she reached the age of 7. It's been a year and she still didn't talk to me. So when I saw her in a rush to go somewhere eyes looking from side to side, I followed her until I saw her enter an old building near the border to the city. There were guards and big scary people who were at the entrance of the place but they just let my friend pass when they saw her. They don't let just anyone in. But as I observed, they willingly let kids in but not older people. They also let rich looking people in. So I gambled and tried to see if they will let me in. I'm not a rich person but I'm a kid, so it's already a 50% chance. I put on my blank face to hide my nerves. The big muscular guy at the door looked at me and scrutinize my appearance. I can clearly remember our short conversation we had that changed my life forever.

"What are you doing here kid?" he asked in a deep manly voice.

"I'm new" I just said because I can't think of any other alibi.

"Oh, that's why I haven't seen you before. Okay. Get in!" he said while opening the door for me.

I thought, 'that was easy'. But then he called my attention again before I disappear in the corner. He asked the question I regret my answer to. "Are you sure about this kid? If you come in there, there's no other way out"

I was scared shitless. But I said, "I'm sure. I have nothing to lose" Then I rounded the corner to find my friend. And after that night, I didn't lose my life, but I lost everything else.

I didn't find my friend inside. There were too many people. There was a boxing ring in the middle of the medium sized room. I observed around. Kids were fighting, inside the ring. People bet on each side like they're just betting on a match between robots. They don't care if the kids got hurt or some even died. Why will they care? They were very powerful and rich people. They can get away with anything. It's fun for them, spending their money for fun. The thrill of seeing who will get beaten or who is stronger between an 8 year old girl or a 13 years old boy. They don't care about the mismatches of the fight. If you're strong, then you'll survive. It's a fight of who will not surrender or tap. So if two kids with too much pride and angst were matched, it will surely be a death fight. I've gotten to that conclusion because I was there for hours. I still didn't find my friend. I got bored of the same things so I decided to just leave. But before I can step out of the room, I saw my friend. I was shocked to see her inside the ring dressed in the same clothes that fighters wore the previous matches. I turned around and ran back squishing my way in towards the front, near the boxing ring. I screamed her name and she heard it among the loud chatters of people. She looked at me shocked and then sadness was evident on her eyes. She mouthed 'Get out of here Lucy. Go' and her eyes pleaded. Before I can ask, her opponent was welcomed to the ring. A much older pretty girl. Her pretty face was expressionless. The fight started. Round one. My friend's opponent was much faster, stronger and skilled. It was obvious. I was really nervous for my friend seeing her getting beaten badly. The match continued until my friend almost had nothing left, not even the will to fight. Round three. The pretty girl's face was still void of any emotions, but she kept looking in one direction from time to time. I followed her line of sight and saw that she's looking at a rich looking man who give her instructions using simple head and hand movements. Maybe they have codes. I was distracted by my thoughts about the man when I heard a shrill cry coming from the ring. The audience were now on ecstasy shouting over each other, excitement in their veins. My heart shattered when I saw the source of that cry, my friend. Her right leg was bent like it was broken. It sure looked broken. She can't stand. Our eyes met for a few seconds, I shouted at the top of my lungs "Tap!!!Give up now!!!" She nodded and smiled sadly. She did what I told her and I smiled. But the referee and the opponent didn't seem to care about her surrender. The pretty girl now looked a little worried. The first time I saw an emotion on her face. But it was gone right after she looked at the man again who signed something I can't forget. A hand gliding across his neck. The pretty girl scrunched her eyebrows for a millisecond with the same worry I saw on her face earlier. She nodded very lightly. I knew what's going to happen so I screamed at the top of my lungs to get my friend's attention. "Get out of there!! Please..." I tried to get inside the ring but I was forcefully dragged away by securities. The last thing I saw while I was being dragged was the saddest smile of my friend towards me. She mouthed 'I'm sorry' then she was hit behind her head. A hard blow by her opponent on the nape. My friend went down, lifeless. I stopped squirming against the security people. They loosened their hold of me and finally let me go when they knew I won't run to the ring anymore. I dropped to my knees crying and shocked to my bones, I was shaking. They carried the dead body of my friend away from the ring while the people cheer about the result of the match. I looked at the man from afar with so much hatred. He stood up to clap for his pawn. The announcer shout out the winner of the match and I didn't forget that name ever. 'Kim Jisoo'