A Glimpse at my Emotions

2021

01-01-2021, 2:05 PM

Wow. New year already, huh.

I'm already at the point now where, a year after I said life shouldn't give me anymore screw-ups, I squint at the biggest plot twist that's kept me from living out my dreams with a full spectrum of colours. Yes, I'm staring you right in the face, COVID. I may still have my job as a part-time music teacher, but it's been tricky for me to realize anything else beyond that. I've done an IT Support Course through Coursera, which went pretty well, but hadn't gotten the chance to use the practice just yet. The fear of even stepping outside my house right now with this illness going on is probably making me look like an idiot, but I have every reason to fear for my life.

And in terms of personal matters--well. Nothing's changed family wise. Other than our family getting a new cat last August, arguments had never really ceased here.

I know I haven't been on Wattpad much last year, with very little to no new updates on stories or anything here. Honestly, I found it really draining to look at all the stories I wrote here and recalling all the times I said "I bit off more than I can chew, but I'm gonna go through with this anyway!" because life has been such a pain for me and I can hardly find any motivation to write at all here. Short one-shots on Tumblr are okay for me because they're quick, and help me practice some stuff. But when it comes to here--

First of all, are people even bothering to read anything new I put here?

And second, do people still even care if I'm on this platform or not?

So many people are reading my old works, which I don't really mind about. It still makes me smile to think that cringy writing from 2015 and 2016 is the highlight of most people's entertainment. But let's be real, I don't know if I'm going to create anything new after realizing how little reactions I get from people every time I push new content.

Everyone says write for yourself, which I get. I can totally unpublish them and keep the stories for myself, but I wanted to share these new interests with everyone here. What good is a story if no one would read it?

Still though, if I ever get to update here, it's because I want to, not because I have to.

To those who still make me smile on my notifications, thank you. To those who have been with me since the start, thank you. To those who understood me through all my hardships and accomplishments, thank you.

I won't be around on Wattpad as much as I used to, but if I do come around once in a while to publish a new chapter of a story, or provide an update here on life, it will be for you--my fellow supporters.

So that's all from me. Thank you guys for reading, and...well, let's just say, I'll see you soon, alright?