A Glimpse at my Emotions

[FEAR]

2017-04-9, 7:09 PM

I have never felt more scared and guilty. Yes, I have done what was probably deemed "illegal" by my family for doing this.

So here's the thing. My phone had been taken up yesterday and I have asked for it back quite a few times over the last 24 hours. Why? I needed it to create edits for a final task on an Instagram editing competition (I have posted a few previous examples in my graphics book if you want to take a look at a few) but I couldn't tell my parents that. Why? They need me to study and they know I get very easily distracted. Yes, my attention span is still quite short for some reason.

Don't ask.

So in the afternoon, I fished out an old Samsung Galaxy S3 phone from my mom's closet--my dad's old phone. I had to wait until my mom actually left to teach Chinese before turning it on...

And then I found out it was reset to FACTORY MODE.

HOLY CRAP YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LOUD IT WAS.

So I had to reinstall all my photo editing apps, reinstall Instagram, locate the screencaps I wanted to use for my edits, and then actually make them. But unfortunately I had to reorient myself on the old phone again since I haven't used it in forever...and after that was done, I posted them and reset everything back to the original factory mode.

The entire time, the phone kept making random noises if I pressed the wrong key.

(*face palms*)

And now that the edits are up, I had to reset the phone again so that no one would be suspicious of anything. But unfortunately, MORE NOISES. 

And you want to know what the worst thing was?

My sister was in the next room. With the door open.

I am just praying she had headphones on while this all went on or something. But honestly, I feel bad for having to be this dishonest. In the end, I didn't back my photos up on my computer and I had to hurry up because I was starving and I needed food and if anyone discovered anything suspicious I'd be guilty immediately and probably stripped of all my privileges.

I already got my phone taken up, and I can't edit properly anymore! What more would she want from me?

But either way, I'm upset, guilty, and scared as heck. What would happen when my mother comes back and finds out what mess I must have made? She's already angry at the fact that I have made a mess of myself and everything I had. What more could go wrong?

A lot, really.

(*groans*)

So much to expect. And so much to anticipate. And so much to dread.

(*cries*)

But seriously--so much could go wrong, and I'm freaking out...

UPDATE 7:44 PM: I got 3rd place in the competition! Not too bad to be honest, but still could have done better if my mother just gave me my phone back and not taken it away and kept it like...I don't know...a jerk...

BUT STILL SCARED. STILL GUILTY. SERIOUSLY.