A Glimpse at my Emotions

idk what to title this

2019-03-27, 4:30 PM

Have I gone AWOL on this? Maybe.

Oh well. I mean, I'll be fair--everything lately has been school, Pokemon GO, Hogwarts Mystery, acapella practice, orchestra practice, and trying to balance my friendships. An unfortunate fallout has lead me to ending one of my friendships (and my participation in a field course, which I dropped out of because of how angry I was over the situation)--I have new friends in the acapella group to help me up, though. But really, either way, I've been struggling.

Of course, today I've literally felt the rush of adrenaline going from my second Pokemon GO EX Raid of the month. I mean, what could be better? The sun is shining, spring is pretty much here, the snow has all melted away, the weather is warmer...and I feel rejuvenated with every step I took in the sunlight. Though to be fair, I've been like this ever since winter ended, even though I can't remember when that happened. I just want to drop all my books right now and relax on a park bench, whiling the day away taking photos and catching Pokemon. Or even play new chapters of Hogwarts Mystery. Or even write more fanfictions and update the ones that already exist. But nope. I got school.

What really whopped my butt was the fact that I passed my tests in February, but failed the ones I wrote last week. What happened?

I don't even know.

I probably just want out already--and I can't blame myself for it. School has honestly been such a drag and the most I want is out--to clear my head, to get myself back in the game when I can, and just stop worrying so much over everything. As if I haven't already. Stress has been a prime factor in my unhealthy lifestyle--lack of sleep, eating unhealthy, you know...

No, I haven't gotten anything settled down yet in terms of what I'd do after graduation. Maybe write more stories on Wattpad. Document my gaming journey on YouTube somehow. Or maybe take some time to travel, or relax and work on my music. Whatever it may be, though, I've already come to accept that our future is impossible to determine, and that's okay. What we can do is plan, and whatever happens after, we'll let it happen.

Except boys. No, I don't want to go back into a relationship right now.

So anyway, that's that, I guess. No, the term hadn't been the nicest, but I'm coping well with it, you can say.

Hopefully the next time I update this, it'll be because of something well worth telling.

~-fromthehallows