A Glimpse at my Emotions

2020--new year, new decade new...me?

2020-01-01, 6:05 PM

Oh wow. 2020 already. No longer the 2010s, and we're in a completely NEW DECADE?!

The heck happened with time?

Well, I mean, this isn't going to be the generic post about "time flies oh my" and "well I made some new year's resolutions!" I found that they don't always help because somewhere along the next 365 days of the year we're going to forget that we even had resolutions in the first place and we end up making new ones up on the fly. At least that's what happens to me.

I'm here to reflect seriously on everything that happened before though.

The 2010s was an interesting time for me, so to speak. Firstly, I graduated from elementary school. Two years later, I thought the world was going to end. Then I graduated from high school, and now at the end of that decade I graduated from university.

Graduations aside, I also started teaching music after finishing my performer's program in both piano and violin, starting privately before eventually finding a job at a music school and somehow, by some strange miracle of sort, landing with the most students out of all the other teachers teaching there. And I only got the job for a few months? Half a year?

Yup, I feel like there's a lot to juggle.

I also started Wattpad in the middle of the 2010s--early 2015, I began to explore Wattpad and started writing Big Hero 6 fanfics. (Oh good lord, I used to be seriously obsessed with that movie! And all the stories I first wrote, yikes...) And then that expanded to the Hunger Games and Harry Potter before I tried my hand at a few writing competitions and roleplaying.

Gaming was huge for me as well in the second half of the 2010s--I started up with Pokemon GO in January 2017, Hogwarts Mystery in April 2018, and Pokemon Masters in August 2019, and still actively play those three games today. (Sorry, Wizards Unite, but I kinda lost interest in you after a few weeks into the game.)

I've done a load of stuff over the last decade that I really enjoyed, and somewhat regretted as well. There are many moments in the last decade that brought me joy and sadness, fear and hope. (And yes I also refer here to the loss of my grandfather 5 years ago--no, I'm still not over it.)

But overall, I've learned a lot from these experiences. For one, life goes on no matter what happens. You find something that upsets you or trips you up, and it could shake you bad--but even in the face of failure you can't just cry. Okay, maybe you can wail and scream over everything. But eventually life throws you on a new path. Embrace the opportunities ahead, don't just wallow in the losses.

Another thing: don't run from people who want to help. Don't doubt the people who want to genuinely reach out and help you. I've made a load of friends but lost them over the last few years because I didn't contact them as much after a few months, few years maybe, so they just kinda faded away. I really want to rectify that. I'm open to anyone just...shooting me a message anytime, because I care about you, and reading some of our past conversations made me realize that. And I hope you know that I didn't mean to shut you out--I was scared before. I know now I shouldn't be because of you, all of you, who want me to live the life I deserve.

Lastly, find balance. Okay, for those who play Hogwarts Mystery and played through the Quidditch update, y'all know I kinda took that from Orion but it's true! Everything eventually has a balance, just sense it within you and you'll be fine. 

Honestly I just hope that this decade doesn't give me anymore screw-ups than the last had. I just want to make sure it's the best it can be.