A Glimpse at my Emotions

warm embraces, everlasting love

2017-12-13, 11:53 PM

I just got off the phone with M. And I think now it's the right time to reveal his name.

Meet my boyfriend, Mathieu.

Today we had our third date--and the second one this week in two days. He met me up after I finished my last final exam in sociology of law (I had a major headache while I wrote it, though, so I don't think I did as well as I had hoped), and then we went to my place to cuddle a little while.

Cuddling soon turned into making out, and at least allow me to say that he took some time to explore my body a little bit. Not in the way you all think he would, but just...enough for him to see just what he had fallen for. I would admit that I don't have the most gorgeous body in the world, but it didn't faze him in the slightest.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured to me.

Those words were enough to send me through the roof.

The rest of the time, we played some intensive table tennis (and I really did mean intensive--we had a couple of good rallies and at times we'd spike some fast balls at each other for laughs) and then we went out to catch Pokemon in the park. It was snowing by the time we got there--just little flakes of snow falling to the ground, delicate and pure as they danced in the air. Snow eventually collected in my hair, which I quickly wiped off, my hands donning Mathieu's warm gloves. Then as we made our way back from the lake, the lights came on.

Every December, Waterloo Park would have a display of colourful lights based on different literary works/popular TV shows, and also introduce some Canadian Olympic sport silhouettes (Canada is competing in the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics, after all) and other Christmas things. I'll put up a few photos that I took later after he left in a later section, but let's just say for now that we were walking through a wonderland of colourful lights and cheer. Halfway through the walk, he turned me around and gave me a hug.

There's always something about his hugs that made me feel so warm, so safe. It took me no time to fall into his embrace, two young souls deep in love melding into one being together. He then lifted my face up with a quiet voice, and we shared a kiss under the falling snow.

I remembered telling him that it was always something I imagined doing with a guy I loved in the wintertime. Just hold hands while we walk together, and maybe share a kiss under the falling snow while snowflakes gather over us, dusting over our winter coats and hats and hair and scarves like powdered sugar over desserts. Okay, but in all honesty, there's something about it that just made me feel like I would be over the moon if someone actually did that to me. It just sounds so romantic. And then boom, it happened.

It was amazing and I wouldn't forget it for the world.

Eventually he had to go, and we both thought that this would be the last time we would see each other in person before I leave for my co-op job in the winter. So we shared one final moment together while he was waiting for the bus to take him home, holding hands and sharing the occasional embrace--a long one at one point, as he told me not to forget him while I'm gone. And I promised him, over and over, that I would never leave him for another guy. He was far too special to me.

I hugged him for as long as I needed. I just buried my face into his shoulder, my arms over his shoulders in a tight embrace, while his arms were wrapped around my waist pulling me close to him. Over and over, we both said "I love you" and felt at ease when the other person responded to it with the same words. We kissed in front of other people waiting for the buses as well, but for once, I didn't care.

I wasn't afraid to show the world how much I loved him, and I was sure he didn't mind either.

It wasn't until literally not too long ago, when he called me and asked me to hang out with him on Friday, when he finally spilled everything to me--all of his feelings and thoughts to me. Everything that was bottled up inside him, he told me in one phone call, almost all in one breath.

Here's the most of what I remember him saying.

"Ever since our second date, I fell in love with you even more. When I saw who I was falling in love with for the first time, I knew that despite everything you said, I thought you were so beautiful to me. You loved me for me, and it really touched my heart. And today, when I was walking with you and playing Pokemon GO with you and seeing the lights, I felt like all my dreams came true. I wouldn't do it with anyone else. And it had always been my dream to walk with someone I love to see the lights in Waterloo Park and then share a kiss with them under the falling snow. You gave me that dream, Clara. You made my dream come true. And when I was waiting for the bus, I felt so overjoyed to be standing beside you--the girl of my dreams, the love of my life. I felt like anything is possible with you by my side. Without you, I would have been dead. I wouldn't even be here telling you all of this.

"I can see our future together, Clara. I can see myself kneeling in front of you asking you to be my wife...and I know I would look forward to waking up with you every day, giving you all the love that you deserve, because...you're someone really special to me. You mean so much to me. I would do anything for you. I would even die for you. And I will always, always love you until the day I die. That is how much I love you.

"I will always come to you when you need me. If you're sick, I'll be there for you. If I'm sick, I know you'll be there for me too. I will always support you in everything, too. Whatever we go through, we'll go through together. And I know that when you come back to Waterloo for school in May, we will have so much fun together. We'll go on hikes, head to Canada's Wonderland, and embark on memorable adventures together. We'll make the most of every minute, every hour we have, because every minute I spend with you is a minute that I would always cherish in memory.

"Words can't describe how much I love you, Clara. I'm so proud to call you my beautiful girlfriend, my beautiful angel from heaven."

This isn't exactly what he said word for word, but this is the most I remember him saying, and hearing all of this made my heart melt. Who would have known that I would find such an amazing guy like him? He helped me see the light in my darkest times--he was there to rescue me when I felt like falling apart, when I felt like giving up on love forever. He showed me that anything was possible. And he showed me that there is someone who would love me for me to the point where they would do anything for me--anything in the name of love.

He's such a great person, and I just wouldn't know what I would do without him. He's a cuddly teddy bear, a great table tennis partner, my Pokemon GO buddy, and my wonderful handsome boyfriend all in one go. He's something more than my best friend. And as strange as it might seem to confess to each other within 24 hours of meeting over social media, to me, I have never made a better decision to let him in.

He's shown me so much, and gave me so much. He accepted me for me, and that's really what moved me to the point where I could just do anything with him, and for him too.

I love him so, so much. Words can't even describe how much I love him. And if I could, right now, I would run across time and space to see him, hold him close, and never let him go.

Our love would be everlasting, and real. And until the day I die, I will never stop loving him no matter what happens.