Hey guys! So...I've been thinking about this, and after a bit of debate and deliberation I thought it's about time I published an actual book to all my updates to my life.
This won't be like my rants book in any way. Rants can remain rants. If I get...
HOW EASY IS IT FOR ME TO ADMIT THAT I JUST HAD MY FIRST KISS?
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(*dem boyz be like GET HER HAMMY*)
I'm just honestly still in shock. I mean, after a fight with my mother that ended up with me losing my voice and my mom in injuries that she wouldn't forgive me for (and she still went on and on actually about how I became a disgrace to my family) I ended up leaving to school with a slight grudge against her. Slight, because she kept threatening me not to return home.
Another friend of mine--okay, I'll call him C (yes, his name starts with C)--he was the first one I turned to in that situation and he just supported me through it all (and yes, he was another boy I've met on Tinder). He eventually picked me up when I got back to school and brought me to this little burger place where I got my dinner. Well, I was supposed to just have some sort of Chinese dish tonight as part of my mom's plan, but...I suppose you all know where that ended up.
After he paid and we left, we went to a nearby park just to talk about what happened, and I wasn't expecting him to actually put an arm around me while I laid my head on his shoulder like in the typical cliche movies. Then he held my hand for a while, and then after that he left a kiss on my cheek, and then my forehead...
And then next thing I knew, he moved in for the actual kiss. On the lips.
I would admit I knew nothing about kissing. I'm serious--I was probably so inexperienced I just ended up mimicking what he did but holy heck it left me breathless. It eventually went into a bit of French kiss as well--
(*cue the screams*)
I know, and it was so weird because the entire time he kept apologizing for his coffee breath which I actually did not mind at all...
Okay, maybe I'll save you all the details by cutting it here because it went on for a bit, and then going back to his car we held hands for a while which for me was unexpected, since we approached the benches at first with our hands in our pockets. And then we got into our seats and still ended up kissing before he dropped me off in my res.
I can't begin to describe the sensation I got with him, honestly. I mean, I don't know if we're going to end up being serious or not, but the way he said everything would be okay, the way he hugged me just trying to keep me safe...just everything makes me feel a little bit giddy. A little.
I mean, there's still the other boy I mentioned here at first. I don't know what would happen with him. But...holy hell. I wasn't expecting things to go this far at all--and it was only the third day!
I think we need to define boundaries and all, but still, if he loves me for me, I guess I'll take it.
This isn't something I'd tell my family, though. They don't know about him at all. At least not right now. But maybe when the time comes, when the air between me and mom clears, I'll mention him.
I don't know if I love him yet, but I was definitely moved by it.
Okay, I think I'll just shut up now. I mean, who wants to hear the story of how a girl got her first kiss? Really?
Ironic it had to be on what I thought was the worst day of my life, but still. I guess it turned things around.
(*starts belting*) BOY YOU GOT ME HELPLESS!!
Okay, now I'll shut up.
I better get ready for bed and class tomorrow. Catch y'all later!
