A Glimpse at my Emotions

[SADNESS]

2017-05-17, 7:53 PM

Heyo. It's Clara here with a brief hiatus update.

So I'm sure most of you saw by now that I'm not okay. I've been really down in the dumps as of late, and because of the things my parents have said...especially today.

Flash back to 13 hours earlier--well, 13.5 hours, to be more exact--when I woke up, excited to begin another good day. I got out of bed, got dressed, went to brush my teeth, and was about to head downstairs when I heard my parents talking about how I've become a liar.

Yes. A liar. 

I have never been more angry in my entire life. I ended up pulling out my journal and writing 4 entries within the hour expressing my anger. Lately, that's all I ever felt I've used it for. And for the rest of the day, I've ended up shutting myself in this room with my laptop, trying so hard to finish an assignment due tonight. I only went downstairs once in a while to drink water, or eat a small snack. I never ate a full meal. Despite the food my mother left out, she said I was undeserving to have them.

Guess that meant I was left to eating cold rations. I just took the food and ate it, because first off I was starving, second off I didn't want the food to go to waste.

Throughout the day, a lot of you have messaged me asking me if I was okay. I truly, truly appreciate that, and I may not be okay now, but hopefully I will be. 

I mean, I know that I've had shitty days, moments even. But I'm hoping things will look up on both sides. It had before, even if it didn't last long. I'd even give myself to singing in the showers more often or strumming on my new guitar just to make myself feel okay, to feel good again.

Now I really better get back to doing my assignment or else the profs are going to have my head. Though on second thoughts, I need to tend to myself before I tend to my grades.

~fiery-hallows

(For a moment I accidentally typed my old username there. Whoops. Anyways, it's still me, magic_mockingjay, just with a new name.)