A Glimpse at my Emotions

another flipping vent

2019-01-12, 1:51 PM

At this point, I've already lost count of how many vents I've done on here, but here's another because I'm far too pissed and angry to bother.

I had original plans with this weekend since I had decided to stay behind on Friday at Waterloo to audition for 2 acapella groups at my university. And so I followed through with them. I auditioned, and then I went back and bumped into a couple friends that I ended up chatting with until way past 11. I went back to my room and packed a bit and then by the time I went to bed it was a little past midnight.

This morning, I was supposed to get on an early morning bus to get back to Markham so I can get to my part-time teaching job on time, but I overslept. I wasn't surprised to see my mother and father texting me about the times they should pick me up, and then when I broke the news to them they started freaking out.

I emailed my boss this morning as well, and then somehow my sister started butting in because she teaches at that school as well, only for a different class. The one thing that pisses me off is my sister getting involved in a sticky situation. There was already another girl who my boss assigned to help with teaching the class as well, and I was already planning to email everything to my boss so she can pass it on to her.

But instead, I have to send everything to my sister.

The worst part was, I haven't even started.

THREE WEEKS. I HAD THREE WEEKS. AND WHAT WAS HAPPENING DURING THOSE THREE WEEKS? SHIT HAPPENED!

Not to mention, I was working on a sociology reading response thing which is due in less than 24 hours, but the document I was working with was gone so now I have to start all over again!

It doesn't help that my mother was also trying to rush me. I woke up late, I had to put on clothes, I had to scavenge for food, and it's safe to say that I didn't manage to eat anything substantial until 12:45 in the afternoon. So basically me saying, I had almost no breakfast.

What could be more shitty?

I don't even have the face to tell my boss that I couldn't get anything done over the last 3 weeks because shit happened.

So now I'm sitting here, pissed, mad, and honestly done. Between me having to come up with alternate plans to wash all my laundry and figure my own life and shit out, I think it's safe for me to say that unless someone has something urgent to say, I just cannot deal with that issue right now.

Rushing me is only going to slow me down. I thought they'd know that.

It doesn't help that I lied to them saying I finished it because they all assume I did, and that I was holding back from sending it.

Some idiots they are. I've got deadlines, I've got other commitments, and if they can't handle it then I guess they can go ahead and find someone else to pick on. If they see no hope in me, then I'm done with my own family. This is not the way I've expected things to go.

I'm not taking their gratitude for granted here. If they talk to me one more time about how disgraceful and stupid and shitty and dumb I've been, and regard every single little decision I make as stupid and dumb and negative, then I AM DONE.

I WANT OUT.

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAVE TO DO WITH THEM AGAIN.