A Glimpse at my Emotions

Is it Christmas already?!

2017-11-03, 12:24 AM

Technically speaking, I'm referring to the fact that Halloween is over and we enter this limbo between looking forward to Christmas and worrying about midterms. At least for university students like me, that seems to be the case.

But seriously, when it comes to the chilly month of November--the month after Halloween and the month before Christmas--what does one expect? The weather gets colder, and any moment soon we would see the first snowfall before December could even make its appearance. The spirit of the last holiday had just passed, and so what more could we do than look forward to the next?

Being the kind of person I am, I don't know how to feel about the holidays this year. And it's not just from the fact that I've mostly been a "bad girl" all year--it's just that with everything going on in my life, I don't know what to expect when the holiday season actually comes around. I have so much to be grateful for here, on Wattpad and beyond, but...what about in real life? I'm practically a loner, except for my family and C.

Wait.

C.

C.

The mere thought of experiencing warmhearted romantic moments in the first snowfall and beyond in the winter season used to be so preposterous that I'd cast it away at the first chance. But still, I couldn't deny that one of those days, I wanted to be the girl who would be treated to a cup of hot chocolate in a cozy café by a kind guy, or even hold hands as we walk through a winter wonderland. Who would give anything to act crazy with him for the holidays. With this holiday season coming around, it would be the first in which I wouldn't be single anymore (if I wanted to go down that path)--I don't know how it would play out, especially since for the most of the holiday we would be living apart. And I do mean far apart--at least an hour apart.

And since I'm not being considered for the job in Shanghai, that gets the whole long distance thing out of my mind--and that's one issue out of the way. But that's another story.

I don't normally think about Christmas until December, but this year it's different. In fact, I'm looking forward to it now. I'm already thinking about the things that my family and I could do once the season hits. I could already imagine the gifts I plan on giving to my internet friends and the friends I made in real life too--songs, poems, drawings, graphic designs, things of the sort that would make them smile. I can already see the somewhat romantic moments with C, smiling at each other under the snowfall in the middle of a winter wonderland. I can picture the skating trips with my family, hear the ice scraping beneath me with every push of the blades against the smooth surface.

There's always something about Christmas in general that makes me feel hopeful.

Of course, with me being in university, I have to worry about exams first before I could get to fantasizing. But since my final exams end pretty early this year, I have about 2 weeks before Christmas actually comes by to prepare everything I need to give, and to hang out and catch up with friends. Christmas always brings everyone we love so dearly all together--that pretty much constitutes to why it's my favourite holiday above others. It reminds us that amidst the cold, there would always be warmth. There would always be joy no matter where you go, no matter what time of the year it would be.

Maybe there is all the more reason for me to be hopeful about this year's Christmas--and to wish for it earlier, too. After all, there is never anything wrong with being in the holiday spirit earlier than expected...right?

(meanwhile, let's put up some Christmas songs to get the vibes going!)

(I fully understand that for the Christians, Christmas means something totally different. Having been a part of a Christmas church concert for the last seven years, I understand how important it is to embrace Jesus Christ's birth into the world, and the moments of rejoice that followed--for Christ the savior is born. I would never neglect that side of Christmas for the life of me--without Him, life would be lead without meaning. So I completely respect your views on the holiday just as much.)