💜HomieSexual💙. Josuyasu Oneshot Collection.

💜 A 'Normal' Hangout 💙

"Dude, all I'm saying is that if I were Yoshikage Kira...." Okuyasu reached his hand into the bag of hot Cheetos and pulled out a handful. "...I simply would have gotten a regular, not-dead girlfriend with nice hands. RIP to Kira, but I'm different." He said, nearly falling off the edge of Josuke's bed trying to cram all the Cheetos into his mouth at once.

"I mean he could've just gotten a girlfriend, but you're forgetting something." Josuke looked up at Okuyasu from his comfy spot on the floor, which was practically a throne made from blankets and pillows. "He didn't just want hands, dude. He wanted to kill girls, and the hands were just like, a bonus to him or something."

Okuyasu thought for a moment, narrowing his eyes. "Oh, I know!" He sat up straight in bed. "Why couldn't he just buy one of those realistic replica hands made of rubber? I saw one in a doctor's office once."

"Rubber? I thought those were only made of wax. Like those carnival attractions where people pay to stick their hands in wax and when it's over they get a replica of their hands. I wanted to do it once, just to see if I could try to make a replica of Crazy D's hands for shits and giggles." Josuke slumps over in his pillow pile. "But those people charge 30 dollars! For wax hands!"

"What did you even expect? Carnivals exist as a scam to squeeze the life, soul, and money out of happy people. It's a fun scam, but still a scam." Said Okuyasu.

All this talk about hands had drawn Okuyasu's stand out into the open. Only the top half had manifested, and the metallic android creature was looking very worried trying to figure out if they were being called out or not.

Like always, Josuke couldn't help but have a goofy grin on his face whenever The Hand had come out to check up on everyone. "Sorry, Hand. We were talking about actual hands this time." He yawned.

"You can still stay dude, there's more than enough space on the bed for both of us," Okuyasu said reassuringly to his stand. He even leaned over and gave The Hand a couple of chin scritches, like the kind you would give a cat.

To Josuke's surprise, the stand had begun to purr. It sounded like a bunch of faint, rapid beeps in succession, with a metallic click every once in a while. "You... pet your stand?" Josuke raised an eyebrow.

"And you don't?" Okuyasu quickly fires back, but it was phrased like a genuine question.

"Uh, no? Why would I do that?"

"Well, The Hand has a bit of a personality that's almost completely separate from mine, y'know? And the more I've used my stand, the more I realize I don't treat him that well. Hand, do this! Hand, erase that! You get me? It's disrespectful of me to not treat him like a person!" Okuyasu smiles, and The Hand smiles back at him.

"Well..." Josuke contemplated this for a moment. The Hand always followed Okuyasu's orders like a stand should, but in casual moments like this, when the two bros hung out on the weekend, the stand did seem to act with a mind of their own.

"Now I feel bad. I've never paid too much attention to how Crazy Diamond acts when I'm not commanding him." Josuke was now looking up at his ceiling with a look of someone going through a brief existential crisis. "Am I a bad person?!" Josuke's turned his head to look at Okuyasu, eyes wide.

"Nah dude, most people treat their stands like you do. I guess most people just don't let their stands out unless they're needed. We might be the exceptions, along with Koichi.

"Diamond just looks so angry all the time, I wouldn't want to bother him by going up and being all touchy-feely, you get me, bro?"

Okuyasu slithered his way partway off the bed so that his stomach was still on the bed, but his hands were on the floor holding him up. "Maybe he wouldn't be so angry all the time if you gave him a pat on the head every now and then. Or maybe he just has a case of resting bitch face."