Little Phoenix

M E M O R Y

As we fall into July, the days have become warmer, and longer. The stars don't come out until around nine in the evening, but I still wait. I wait to see the sky be filled with scattered stars and the bright moon that kisses my skin with white iridescence. I love the night life where I am, which I found out to be Cornwall. I'm unsure of where that is and how far it is from Hogwarts, but it's beautiful. 

I'm not usually allowed to go out past nightfall, only a Saturday I am allowed to be out, Gale knows I am with Johnny on those evenings, but I sometimes sneak out during the week to enjoy the beach when it has little to no people on it. It gives me a break of being someone else around here, I can keep my white hair and weirdly coloured eyes after dark. 

I sit here on the beach, listening to the waves crashing along the shore with one ear and the other is listening to a cassette by Micheal Jackson. As the music played, I couldn't help my mind flit back to times with Fred and George, that time at the burrow comes back to me like it happened yesterday. Oh how I wish they were here with me, both lying down either side of me, laughing about some stupid thing that they've done or what they're planning to do. 

I play with the ring that hangs around my neck, the ring that once wrapped around the finger of my love. Lifting it up I squint to read the small engraved name that is written on the inside. Frederick Gideon Weasley— a name that I will never cease to forget, the name Weasley is a reminder of the whole family that sport the fiery red hair and fiery attitude, the family that made me feel so welcome and took me on board as Fred's girlfriend and George's best friend. Bringing the ring to my lips, I plant a gentle kiss onto the cold silver, trying to remember the way Fred kissed me, they way his mouth was always so soft— I can't keep doing this to myself, I feel that stabbing ache coming back, so I quickly push away those memories.

Lifting myself off the sand, I brush down my legs and make my way back to my flat. Using the same path I took to get out, I clamber up the wall using the vining that grew up the brick, getting myself onto the small roof, then into my already open window. 

Letting out the breath I was holding after making it in safely and undetected, I stride over to my book shelf, scanning through the books for late night practice, which has been a usual occurrence as my sleep pattern hasn't been the best, I finally end up choosing a book on defence magic, I flip it open to a random page, ending up on the patronus charm. 

"Alright, wand first Phoenix— then without  the wand." Whispering to myself as I scan over the direction on how to conjure this charm. 

'A magical guardian that is a projection of all your most positive feelings. It takes the shape of whom they share deepest affinity, each one is unique to the witch or wizard who conjure it.' 

Going over the technique again and again in my mind, I then lift my wand, pointing it towards the dark open space in my room. Taking a deep breath, I then open my mouth to utter the words. 

"Expecto Patronum." 

Nothing— not even a spark. I furrow my brow as the stab of disappointment hits my stomach, but I push it away and try again. 

"Expecto Patronum." 

Another whip of my wand— still nothing. I let out a frustrated huff and quickly turn back to the open book on my floor. Scanning over the technique again, but a sentence stick out to me and makes me realise what it is that I am doing wrong: 

'A projection of all your most positive feelings' 

Positive feelings— I've got plenty of those. I think back to my first time at Hogwarts, that was the first time I have ever felt home, felt like I belonged somewhere... I lift my wand again and attempt the charm again with the memories of Hogwarts in my mind.