Little Phoenix

F E E L I N G

I feel numb. I'm sitting up in the clock tower, alone. Leaning my back against the cold stone, I look over the balcony, watching all of my other students laughing and playing in the snow. Pulling my legs up to my chest to warm myself from the cold chill, I move my gaze up towards the evening sky.

It was beautiful, the sun setting over the horizon, painting the sky with bright colours of pink and orange, but I couldn't enjoy it. I came up here so I could take myself away from everyone, I'm sure the whole school now knows about my incident in class. My dad has gone away to talk to Dumbledore, I don't think I will be coming across a boggart anytime soon.

Dropping my head between my folded arms, I close my eyes for a moment as I feel tears pricking the back of my eyes, I didn't want to cry, my dad is alive, and safe. I didn't want to cry over something that hasn't even happened, but the sight of it being played out in front of me, it tore my heart in half. It truly is my worst fear.

After some time, I could hear faint footsteps, instantly thinking it was either my dad or Hermione, I hear the faint whispers of two boys. As the reach the top floor where I sit, the footsteps come to a stop next to me. Lifting my head, I meet eyes with Fred and George, who are looking down at me with soft smiles.

"Hey guys." I say, my voice faint and croaky. I lean my head back on the stone windowsill, waiting for them to say something.

"Hermione told us what happened." George broke the silence, sitting in front of me, leaning his head on my pulled up knees. I nod slowly at him, I knew they would already know.

"She said you wanted time for yourself, but we thought that was rubbish-- so we came to find you." Fred says while sliding his back down the wall, sitting down next to me.

Tears well up in my eyes, falling down my blotchy cheeks. George scoots over and to sit next to me, he takes his hand and wipes away my tears. Both boys have wonderfully warm hands, it's comforting. I didn't realise how cold I was until the Weasley twins were sat next to me.

"Has this happened before, Phoenix?" George asks me.

"Yeah-- Hermione said your face dropped as the boggart changed back into Snape." Fred adds. I let out a sigh, while fiddling with my fingers, I try to find the words to explain my reoccurring nightmares.

"I constantly had this same nightmare-- it happened most nights, when I was younger. It would terrify me, and I knew it worried my dad too. As I got older, I didn't have it as much, but the same thing would happen, and it would cause the same reaction." I wipe away my stray tear as it falls down my cheek. "It felt so real, like I had actually lost him. I'd fall into a depressive state-- unable to move myself out of it. All I think of is how I've not made him proud."

Fred and George's brows furrow as I speak. "Phoenix, I'm sure you make him proud everyday." Fred says, wrapping his arm over my shoulder.

"How? I'm a Morphmagus, and I haven't even been able to develop my powers... it's embarrassing." I wipe my eyes again. "I only have these stupid eyes, that change colour when I am feeling something... it's so fucking embarrassing." I begin to rub my fingers harder into my eyes, desperate for another colour to show through-- desperate to push away this feeling of nothingness.

"Phoenix, stop." Fred says, taking my hands away from my face. The runs his fingers along my knuckles. "Look, you can't change who you are--"

"Yeah, no one want's you to change anyway." George adds.

"But what matters is-- your dad hasn't gone anywhere, he is still here." Fred tilts his head, so his eyes meet mine. "And you are extraordinary, powers or no powers." His words manage to pull a smile up on my lips. Looking up at George, who is nodding in agreement, I let out a weak giggle and shake my head.