change. (harry styles)

Chapter Sixty-Nine.

Chapter 69. 

Harry's POV

I had waited. I was waiting for the right moment to come back to her, and I intended to finish off that ridiculous dance with a smile on both of our faces, but deep down I knew that was nearly impossible. I just, I saw that beautiful figure of hers leaned against that wall, her arms wrapped around herself as she tried to keep warm, and I talked before I knew what I was doing. 

I knew, that when I had approached her, when I had finally spoken to her, that there was no turning back. 

And having those lips on mine, I immediately felt like a little bit of life had flowed back into me, but it was whisped away when she detached our kiss. 

And then I saw her with Louis. He was drunk, so drunk, and she cared for him as she took him to the car, and I needed another chance to talk to her. 

So I took that chance. 

And then, I went to my old home, the home we had shared for a brief time, one that I missed being happy in. I had used my old key, going in and leaning against the wall as I waited for her, trying to figure out what I would say to her, what I would do when she got here. 

But right when I saw that flawless face anymore, I couldn't control myself. I had kissed her again, and apologized right after. I had no idea what I was doing, I still don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I want her, I need her; there's no way I'm going to feel alive again unless I have Ella back, no way I would love again. 

And so I followed her in the bedroom, our old bedroom, seeing her sat on the bed, her knees brought up to her chest, her dress still damp and her hair still dripping. I didn't know what I was going to say to her, but I knew if I wanted her back I needed to control myself. I had to stop kissing her, and I needed to show her my love without having to be completely physical.

I could still read her like old times, and I figured confusion was swirling around in her brain. I had left her with no answers, just after I had made love to her for only the second time, and I knew she thought I didn't love her anymore, or that I never loved her to begin with. That thought would be completely insane, considering I was still head over heels for her, but I knew that's what she was thinking. I had to explain everything to her, I had to show her all my trust in hopes she could trust me again. 

"Ella I can explain everything." She had stopped crying now, but she still looked weak, lifeless, and so broken.

"Harry..." my name finally fell from her lips and I took in a sharp breath, not knowing it was going to feel this way by just her voice saying my name. 

It caught me off guard when she stood from the bed and ran to me, wrapping her arms around my torso as I heard her let out a sob, signaling she was crying again. My arms went around her, my hand rubbing up and down her back, comforting her to the best of my ability even though I was the reason she was in pain, the reason she was crying. 

"I love you," I murmured and I know she had heard me when she stiffed up, but she didn't move, just kept her head on my chest before slowly pulling away, making me hesitate to back off. I needed to realize that she might not come back to me.

Fuck, what if she didn't? What if she actually was with Louis, and I made her cheat on him? What if she didn't want me anymore, what if I was going after something I already lost?

"You should go see your mother," Ella finally murmured and I furrowed my eyebrows. 

"Why?"

"She needs to know you're back, she's missed you so much, H-" she stopped herself from saying my name, crossing her name and dropping her head.