change. (harry styles)

Chapter Forty-One.

Harry's POV

The pain.

The pain that emitted from her face killed me. It stabbed me in the chest and I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I wanted to drink, to make my mind go fuzzy and to just let loose. But I couldn't do that to myself, not again.

I couldn't do that to her.

I sped to my house, surprised myself that I didn't wreck and die, (not like I would care, I deserve to die anyways).

As I entered my empty house, I slammed my keys on the coffee table and pulled off my shoes, taking them to my bedroom. I stripped down to my boxers, throwing my clothes to the floor, not giving a shit about the mess and walking to the bathroom.

I turned the water on and stepped in the shower, my thoughts on her and all the times I walked in on her showering "accidentally", but never looking at her like I wanted to so bad, trying to give her the respect she needs and deserves.

As I turned the water off and got out of the shower, I ruffled my hair in the towel before wrapping it around my waist and stepping out of the bathroom.

I put a clean pair of boxers on and a pair of grey sweatpants over them, leaving my chest bare as I  shuffled through the quiet, empty, house. Usually, I loved being alone here. I loved the silence and no one fucking with me but now? Now all I wanted to do was hear her voice and her laugh and the giggle she does after I say something cheesy. I want to see the blush on her face when I mention lustful thoughts in her ear or when I tell her I love her. I wanted to hear her say she loves me without the hurt on her face as if the words were killing her.

I laid in my bed but quickly had to get up, the newly washed white sheets bringing too many memories of Ella and her chocolate brown colored hair cascaded over my pillow.

I missed the way she would kiss me and comfort me when I was being pulled into darkness. I missed her small hands on my chest and her fingers tracing over the ink on my skin.

Fuck. I miss her.

I knew, I knew from the beginning I shouldn't have gotten so close to anyone but I had blown it.

I didn't deserve her or any of the beauty that radiated off of her.

I left my bedroom with a slam of the door behind me, laying down on my couch and covering myself with a blanket, taking over an hour to actually fall asleep.

White, all around me is white.

I spun around, trying to find something in the vastness, but there was nothing until a figure started to come into view.

Her brown hair rested around her in perfect waves, the locks moving with the slight wind coming from nowhere. She dressed only in my sweater that she had taken a liking to, her legs bare as she approached me with a grin.

"I love you," the words left my mouth subconsciously.

"I love you too," She said, her arms going around my neck, causing me to spot the jewelry hanging around her neck and wrist, a smile creeping onto my face.

I wrapped my arms around her thighs and lifted her off the ground, her legs wrapping around my waist.

My lips locked with hers in bliss, our mouths moving together in sync.

She pulled away and smiled at me, resting her forehead on mine, her hair cascading around her face and resting partially on my shoulders.

And suddenly, everything around us went black, except the light around her. All I could see was arms wrap around her waist, pulling her away from me and she let out an ear piercing scream.