change. (harry styles)

Chapter Twenty-Two.

Harry's POV

What the hell was I thinking?

I can't be with Ella, I can't put her in my crowd. That will just put her in danger and I don't know what I would do if something happened to her, like what happened in my dream.

I wouldn't live with myself.

That's why I told her to come here. I have to end it. Whatever was going on between us can't happen anymore. I won't risk it. I have to break her heart, and it fucking kills me. I want nothing more than to feel her lips on mine again. It felt so fucking right. I thought I just wanted to fuck her but it's so much more now. And I can't fucking stand it.

I want her.

But we all want something we can't have.

If they found out about her, they would do everything in their power to destroy it.

To destroy her.

A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts and I sighed. It's Ella.

I opened the door, slightly smiling at her as she looked up at me with a smile.

"Hi." She said.

"Hey, come in" I said emotionless.

She followed me to the couch, sitting down beside me, pulling her legs up on the couch and crossing them. She played with the hem of her sweater, waiting for me to speak, but I didn't know what to say first.

"Um.." she said, breaking the silence, "Why did you tell me to come?"

"I..." I didn't know what to say.

"Harry?"

"What?"

"D-do you remember anything you said last night?" She asked.

I thought about it for a second.

"No"

"Oh..Okay."

"What did I say?"

"Nothing, nevermind." She mumbled.

"Ella, we need to talk." I finally said.

"About...last night?" She asked, a slight smile on her face. No Ella, stop.

"Yeah, about the kiss.." I started and she nodded, waiting for me to go on, an emotionless expression on her face.

"It shouldn't have happened." I blurted and she gasped at my sudden raise of my voice.

"Oh.." she said, "but why?"

Shit.

I said the first thing that came to my mind, an absolute lie. "I don't want to be with you, I hate you. You should know that by now. I just wanted you to sleep with me" I said, my voice as emotionless as possible. Fuck.

Her lip quivered and she bit her lip to get it to quit.

Please don't cry.

"So it meant nothing to you?" She asked and I shook my head, "None of it did. How could I have been so stupid. You wanted me to fall for you, so you put on this stupid act while you're drunk, you kiss me," she paused, her voice beginning to become shaky, "you told me you loved me just so you would feel wanted by the person who hated you most. Well, congratulations Harry. Because I fucking hate you, again."

Wait, what? I said I loved her?

Fuck.

I wish I could tell her what the real reason was, but she can't know. I can't give out anything about them or she'll be in danger.