change. (harry styles)

Chapter Sixty-One.

Chapter 61.

Louis' POV (I had to)

...but I don't regret falling for you, fool's gold...

I closed my notebook and laid it on my keyboard, before glancing over at her, her eyes still screwed shut as she slept in my bed.

She was so beautiful.

I never imagined she would be there, I never imagined I would have gotten the chance to kiss her, to have her in my arms.

And I know she doesn't love me the way I love her, I know she's still in love with Harry, but I don't care. She can use me as a distraction all she wanted to, and I would gladly take the attention I was getting from her.

I didn't want to fall in love with her, especially because I was first captivated the first time I met her, she was with Harry. He hurt her that day, making her feel like she wasn't good enough to be his, yet she still loved him.

I told myself that day that if I were him, I would never feel ashamed or disclaim her the way he did.

And the more I got to know Ella, the more she hung around us, the more I fell for her. Even though I watched her and Harry kiss, I watched them exchange 'I love you's' and watched them as they walked down the halls hand in hand, I couldn't stop myself from wishing it was me.

And now, now it was.

It was different, much more different than with Harry, but I still get to feel her skin pressed against mine as we sleep, I get to feel her hair running through my fingers and her lips pressed to mine. I get to have that smile to myself for once, without knowing she's going to be in someone else's arms tonight.

But the worst part?

The pain, though I don't care if she's using me, it still hurts to know that she doesn't love me, that she'll never feel what I feel for her. I also know, that if Harry were to come back, she would go back to him. The two of them loved each other more than anything, so I wouldn't do anything to keep them from being together, but that won't stop me from crashing.

The clock on my bedside table read 7 AM, which told me I needed to wake her up for school now. I hoped she'd go today, and I hoped maybe I cheered her up just a little last night.

I quietly walked to the edge of my bed and softly said her name, barely touching her shoulder before she groaned, her eyes still screwed shut as she stretched her body out.

"What," she murmured in her adorably tired sleepy voice, yawning and pulling the covers up to her chin.

"We have school, beautiful." I said in the sweetest way I could and she moaned before slowly sitting up in the bed, stretching her arms out and then standing up, wiping her eyes before looking up at me and lazily smiling.

We both parted ways to get ready for school before we were downstairs 30 minutes later for breakfast.

Jess and Emma were already sitting down eating cereal, Mum at the stove making what looked to be omelettes.

Ella and I ate omelettes before I let her in my car that I had rented before I could get a new motorcycle and then we were on our way to school.

She hadn't said much this morning, so I simply reached over and grabbed her hand, kissing the top of it as I intertwined out fingers.

"Thank you," she murmured, "For trying."

I merely nodded.

"You made me feel a lot better, Louis, I had a chance to push him to the back of my mind last night," she added and I tried so hard to fight a smile but I still pulled a full out grin anyways.

"I'm sorry I can't be happy again," she murmured quietly and my smile faltered, wishing I could do something, anything.

"I'm sorry I can't make you happy," I responded and she didn't say anything for the rest of the drive to school.

--

Ella's POV

I was trying so hard, so hard to forget about him. But it seemed as if the more I pushed him away, the less I felt I was living. The less I wanted to live.

Everything was reminding of him today. When I woke up, it was thinking of him being next to me when in fact the other side was empty. When we ate breakfast, it was all those times we tried to successfully make a meal but we had gotten too distracted to do so. When we got in the car, it was the way he would tap his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the music as he quietly hummed along.

But I knew that he wasn't feeling the same, nor was he here, so I had to stop. It was so unhealthy for me to be grieving over someone who really didn't care anymore.

As me and Louis split ways, I felt much more empty not having him by my side, but I knew he thought I wanted to be alone. I could see how he was so hesitant to leave me by myself, but he thought that's what I intended.

I quietly pushed through the crowd with my book in hand, entering my classroom and taking a seat in my usual spot, looking over at Carter's seat to see it empty as usual.

I really wished Louis could be in this class. He held the last of my sanity and I know if I'm alone for too long I'm going to lose it.  I knew what class he was in, but biology was all the way across campus and I hadn't been to class in a few days, not counting the first two weeks he had been gone.

It was really sad I couldn't even let his name roll of my tongue, as it were poison that would harm the air and choke the air around me. I wanted him to come back, but then again I don't think I could handle it. Him not being here caused Louis to finally open up to me, and knowing he loves me, it hurts, it hurts I can't love him back, but then again, the selfish part of me loves that he loves me, and I hope if Harry was to never come back, time would heal me, and I could find it in me to be with Louis.

But right now, right now it wasn't okay, and I couldn't see in the future. So as soon as the bell rang for next period, I had shoved myself out of my seat and ran across campus to where Louis was coming from. When I spotted his peircing blue eyes, locked on mine, I broke out in a sprint, running and jumping on to him, feeling his arms curl around me in a tight embrace as my feet left the ground. He soon let my feet back down but made no move to let go of me, ignoring all of the people around us watching. 

While he was not here, Louis Tomlinson was. Louis was here to help me, and I was going to be the best friend I could be, and hope that one day I could find it in me to be something more.

But deep down, I knew that wouldn't be the case. 

Saomeone else still owned my heart, and he ran away with it, tearing it into pieces as he left without looking back.

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i know ella has mixed feelings rn and keeps changing her mind and i hope you understand thats her personality 

i think next chapter will be harrys pov and all of your questions will be answered but idk yet is that too early?

and yes louis wrote fools gold for ella at the beginning :')