Queen Bee

September 2001 (1)

The filming for 8 Mile had officially started about three weeks ago, and it had actually been going pretty well so far. The days were crazy long though, I was averaging about 14-15 hours of being on set per day, 6 days a week, but I think I was handling it pretty well nonetheless. Although, I was fuckin' tired constantly. It was hard, because I would have an hour and a bit in between takes where I could try to sleep, but I was still so stressed out about Kim, leavin' Angel all the time, and the soundtrack that I was still workin' on, that there was absolutely no way I would be able to turn my brain off for long enough to actually get some decent rest in.

Something that I found to help soothe my mind though was Valium. It would slow my thoughts right down into essentially nothing, and I could even feel my body physically relax. It was really nice, but it still wasn't helping me sleep quickly. I had told this to one of the other actors on set, who was much more seasoned than I was at all of this, and he gave me some of his Ambien to try out and see how I liked it. Holy fuck, was it ever helpful. It would knock me out fast as fuck, and I would wake up actually feeling so refreshed and rejuvenated. I've only been taking it for a few days now, but I can tell this shit is gonna be such a life saver until we're done with filming, whenever that is. 

It was Sunday now, which was my only day off from filming, so Angel had been letting me sleep in as late as I wanted and just be lazy which I really appreciated. It was my only day to actually get some naturally induced sleep, and you know what, it's a lot better than a drug induced sleep. 

I think it was around two in the afternoon, but I was still fast asleep in bed. I heard Angel carefully tip toe into the room as she began collecting our dirty laundry I assume to take downstairs and wash it. With my arms stuffed under the pillow and my face turned to the side, I felt as a gentle hand ran over my back towards my head before a feather light kiss was placed on the top of it. "I love you." Angel whispered, gripping the laundry basket tightly beneath her arm. 

"I love you." I mumbled, turning over on my side and away from her. Just as I figured she had walked away, I heard a rattling come from the other side, almost like how pills in that little plastic prescription bottle sound when you pick it up. Paying it no mind, I just pulled the covers up over my head. 

"Baby." Angel whispered again as I felt her nudge me. "Baby." 

"Hmm?" I groaned, still with my eyes closed and hoping to god she would leave me alone. 

"What're these?" She asked, still in that same soft tone of not wanting to disturb me, but disturbing me anyway. 

"I don't care." I groaned again. 

"Baby, ya got like three different pill bottles on your nightstand. What the hell are they all?" 

"They have labels for a reason." I stated rudely and immediately regretted. It wasn't her fault, I know I was just tired and annoyed, but still. Is right now really the best time to ask me this? 

"Aight, well what's Ambien?" 

"Helps me sleep." 

"Valium?" 

"Sleep." 

"Are ya really havin' that much trouble sleepin'?"

Letting out a loud, frustrated groan, I quickly propped myself up on my elbows and snapped my head towards her. "Yeah, Angel, I am. Especially when ya keep fuckin' wakin' me up for no goddamn reason." I spat.

Her chin tucked in defensively. "I'm sorry? I was just askin' what all these fuckin' pills are doin' here." Slamming down the bottle she was holding in her hand onto the nightstand, she quickly turned on her heel. Rolling my tired eyes, I plopped myself down back onto my stomach as I heard the door slam shut. Honestly, it woulda made me jump if I wasn't expecting it, but I knew better from the sound of her voice that she was pissed, and she's never been one to be above slammin' doors when she's angry.