Queen Bee

October 2001 (1)

I was officially eight months pregnant, and let me tell you, I definitely felt like it. It wasn't that I've had a hard pregnancy by any means, in fact, besides the vomiting, it's been pretty amazing. I would even get pregnant again if the timing was right. But I was just so big by this point and uncomfortable that I was definitely ready to get this lil' man out of me. I really couldn't wait any longer to meet him, hold him, and just have him be part of our family. 

I also couldn't wait for the baby to get here because then maybe it might slow Marshall down a bit. It's not like I'm upset that he's working or anything like that, I understand it, I understand he has obligations and that his pregnant girlfriend and kids can't constantly be his world, but I do want him to slow down. Just enough so that we actually get more than one day a week of quality time with him. I'm sure the baby will help with that. Just, refocus him a little bit on what's important. 

But, because it was October, that meant the refocusing might have take a backseat for awhile, or at least until his birthday was over. His big two nine is in a few days and although we would be celebrating his actual birthday here, Dre did want to throw him a party out in L.A. over the weekend. Well, he didn't want to, he was doing it. Everything was booked, and Marshall was going. He really wanted me to come, but obviously, due to me being so goddamn pregnant, I wasn't allowed to fly at all anymore. Before, it was just a cautionary thing that I probably shouldn't fly, now I actually couldn't, even if I wanted to. 

I know Marshall felt really bad that I couldn't come, and that he was gonna be leaving for three days without me, but he still chose to go anyway. I understood, to a degree. It was his birthday, and a party was being thrown for him. He had no choice in his eyes. But in mine he did. He could have told Dre that he wanted to do it here, or that he just didn't wanna leave his eight months pregnant girlfriend, but he didn't. All he did was just apologize to me for not being able to come. I've made a few off-hand comments to him about it, but that was it. I refuse to get in a fight over this. I'm pregnant, I have bigger things to worry about right now. If he doesn't see the problem with it on his own, that's not for me to help him figure out. It should be common sense in my opinion, but who knows? Maybe I'm just pregnant and hormonal, I have no idea.  

To make matters worse, Kim's court date was today, and me and Marshall had been waiting all morning, and now the afternoon, on Paul to call us with the verdict. Well, in actuality it was me at home with the kids waiting on Marshall to call me from the set, who was waiting for Paul to call him from the courthouse. But still. Same difference. 

Regardless, we were extremely nervous. We had fully decided a little while ago that even if Kim did get jail time, Marshall was still gonna adopt the baby, which was fine. The only difference is if she does go to jail, we would have to look after the baby full time until she got out, which also didn't bother me too much. I mean, it's just a baby. Babies don't do much besides eat, sleep, and poop anyway. I could handle it. But if I didn't have to handle it, then that wouldn't be a bad thing either. More time for me to focus on myself, my baby, and the kids is how I looked at it. I know Marshall felt the same way. He was fine with either, but I do think secretly he was really excited to have another baby in our care for a little bit. He thought it was cool our baby would have a sibling who was so close in age, almost as if they were twins. But I knew regardless of whether the baby was with us full time or not, they would be siblings anyway. How couldn't they be? It's like Hai and Lainey, they're not technically siblings but they're sisters through and through. 

It was a little past 4 in the afternoon, and Nate had just gotten home from school. As soon as he got back, I had essentially begged him to take the girls for a walk down to the store to go get some ice cream for them. I still had yet to hear from Marshall, so I really needed to call him and I wanted as much privacy as I could get. Also, the girls had been bugging me about ice cream I swear for the last week, so as soon as he walked in the door I asked if he could take them. He definitely wasn't happy about it, but I know if I ask him nice enough he'll do anything for me. Or maybe he's just scared of what Marshall would do if he thought he wasn't helping me enough. Which is actually sort of ironic, but still, I was able to get him to take them for a quick twenty minutes.