Queen Bee

May 2002 (1)

It had been about a week since mine and Marshall's fight, and we still weren't really talking. Well, we were talking, but we weren't talking  talking. We would exchange a few words here and there when we needed to about the kids, or work, but that had pretty much been the extent of it. I know we're both still so angry with each other, but neither of us really wanted to address it for whatever reason. 

To make matters worse, Marshall's tour was right around the corner, and I was really starting to feel the nerves kick in. He's gone from July, all the way until September. I really don't know how the fuck I'm gonna be able to handle that. It's already hard enough with the kids when he's home in Detroit, I don't even wanna know how fuckin' hard it's gonna be when he's not here! I just keep reminding myself that I have Betty if I need her, and also Nate too. Ever since he turned sixteen, I've been finding him to be a lot more helpful than he once was, which is such a relief. I just hope between the two of them it'll be enough. But I know there's no kind of replacement for Marshall. Even if he isn't here a lot, I always feel I have his support. I'm always able to get into bed with him every night and just feel all my worries melt away, no matter how hard the day was. But now I wont have that for awhile, and that's fucking terrifying to think about. 

Regardless, even if we weren't on the greatest of terms right now, tonight was the release party of his third stand alone album entitled The Eminem Show. I really didn't wanna go, considering how pissed off and hurt I still was, but I knew I had to. At the end of the day, fight or no fight, he's my man and I need to be there to support him. And I mean, I'm really fuckin' proud of him too. The album sounds absolutely amazing, and in my opinion it's the best record he's come out with thus far. But still, I don't necessarily feel like going out and acting like we didn't just get into one of the biggest fights we've had in a long time. Oh well. I guess there's nothin' I can really do about it except go and try to have fun. 

Picking out an outfit for tonight, I stared aimlessly at all of the millions of articles of clothing that I had hung up in our walk in closet. Everything just looked so bland and boring to me. I don't feel like wearing any of this shit. Probably 'cause I don't feel like going out, but still. You gotta pick somethin', Angel. Reaching up on my tip toes, I pulled down my favourite black dress from when I was 22. Smiling at it, I wondered if it would still fit with my post-pregnancy body? As I turned myself around, I was immediately taken off guard by Marshall just standing there, completely unannounced. "Jesus fuck, ya scared me!" I yelled, damn near jumping out of my skin as I clutched my dress closely to me. 

"Can we talk?" He deadpanned. 

"About?" I asked with slight attitude riddled throughout my voice. 

"Well for starters, last week, maybe." He replied, matching my tone.

"Not unless ya wanna apologize." I bluntly stated, pulling the towel I had wrapped around me tighter as I walked past him out towards the bedroom. 

"Apologize for what?! What the fuck did I do?!" His voice became raised as he followed closely on my heels. 

Snapping myself around the face him, I yelled, "What the fuck did you do?! Are ya serious?!"

"You flushed my pills then told me to drink bleach!" He yelled back. 

"'Cause they're doin' the same bullshit to ya body that bleach would do!"  

"Oh my god, ya sound so fuckin' dramatic." He said rolling his eyes as he turned to walk away from me. "As if you ain't never gotten fuckin' high before!" 

"'Course I have, Marshall! But the rate at which ya takin' those fuckin' things is almost the exact same as how much weed ya used to smoke!" 

He quickly turned back around to face me. "Exactly! And you ain't have a fuckin' problem then! Ya probably smoked more weed than I did!"