Queen Bee

December 2004 (3)/January 2005 (1)

"You really sure 'bout this, baby? I swear you ain't gotta come, you could just stay here in the apartment-" 

"Jay, it's fine. I promise I'm fine." I said as reassuringly as I could before planting a soft kiss against his frowning lips. "It's your first release party! And it's New Years! I wanna be there for you, okay?" He nodded slightly. "So just let me be there." 

He sighed. "Aight... You really ain't scared?" 

I laughed. "Fuck no! Who do I have to be scared of?! Dre?! Fifty?!-" 

"Em?" He asked seriously. 

Instinctually, my eyes rolled into the back of my skull. "There's no way in fuck Marshall's comin' tonight, and even if he did he's the last person I'm scared of, aight? Those dudes have already said and done everything that they possibly could to hurt me, and yet I'm still standin' here. I ain't scared of any of 'em. They're pussies. All bark, no bite." Jay nodded in understanding. "Are you scared of 'em?" 

"Nah, I just- I'm worried how you gon' feel. I'm worried it's gon' be awkward for you." 

I shrugged. "It might be awkward, yeah, but oh well. I ain't fly all the way down to L.A., beg my brother to watch Des for the night just for nothin', okay? I'm here, and I'm fuckin' comin' to celebrate your record. I ain't give a fuck what any of 'em gotta say, and honestly most of the shit that comes outta their mouth doesn't make a lot of sense anyway."

He chuckled lightly, a wave of relief washing over me knowing he was starting to relax a little. "Aight. If you're comfortable, then I'm comfortable." 

"I am more than comfortable. Promise." 

He smiled. "Aight, good." Leaving one last kiss on my lips, we gathered up our phones, wallets, and my purse, quickly heading for the front door of Jayceon's apartment once we were finally all set.  

Driving over to the club, I felt fucking ready. I was so excited to just look all those motherfuckers directly in the face and tell them all to go fuck themselves. Politely, of course. It is Jay's night, I don't wanna start any unnecessary drama and have the whole spotlight be taken away from him. But on the flip side, if they got some words to be exchanged, or they wanna start a fuckin' fight, I'm more than ready. I've been preparing for this shit all year. I knew I'd see them in person again eventually, and I want them all to look me in the eye after sayin' the kinda shit they've said about me. Fuck, if I had it my way, I'd want them all on the floor begging for my forgiveness. But I know that'll never happen. So, I guess making them feel uncomfortable and intimidated is my next best option. They wanna fuck with me? Good. 'Cause I'll happily fuck with them. 

Pulling up, there was tons of cameras and press scattered all throughout the red carpet, and honestly, I was impressed. It was really amazing the amount of hype Jay's created for himself being signed for damn near two years and only releasing a record now. I have to give credit where credits due because that is most definitely not something me or Marshall could have ever done. No one gave a fuck about us until we dropped our first singles, but that was not the case with Jay. Maybe it's 'cause of how good looking he is, or the way he carries himself? Maybe it's 'cause he's got Compton and the Bloods backing him? Who knows? But whatever it is, like I said, it's impressive. 

As me, Jay, his whole crew including his older brother, who I've actually come to like a lot, all piled out of the car, I knew full well the amount of questions and rumours that would be whirling due to my presence. Jay knew this too, but when we talked about it, he said he really didn't care what the press and the public had to say about it, which was good, 'cause I didn't give a fuck either. I've been made out to be the bad guy too many times to count in the media, so I'm over it. If the world wants to look at me as fucked up for hanging out with Jayceon, fine. So be it. They can't say nothin' that hasn't already been said about me before.