Queen Bee

December 2008 (2)/January 2009 (1)

Standing in front of the familiar bathroom mirror, my reflection stared back at me as I smoothed my hands over the lacy cut out midsection of my black dress. Reaching for my favourite lip gloss, it did feel good to be back at home where I had all of my belongings, where I knew I could find anything I needed without having to send one of Marshall's people out to grab it for me. But while it felt good to be back home, I did miss him. A lot. 

I decided to come back home for New Years when I realized I had spent damn near seven months straight in Detroit, and if there's one thing I'm not gonna do, it's just casually move back in with him. I mean, we've literally just gotten back together, and things are going amazing, don't get me wrong, but still. I can't be moving in yet. It's too much pressure not just for me, but for Marshall also. We're taking a really, really big leap of fucking faith by getting back together before he's even hit a year in his sobriety, so we just need to make sure we're being extra careful. Or at least I do. 

Still though, I did invite him to come back with me for the week so we could spend New Years together, and while I know he really wanted to, he just couldn't. Aidan and Jill are having a small little party for our close friends and family, with no more than twenty people max, but even though it's small, there's still alcohol. I doubt there'll be any sort of drugs there, considering it is a family friendly party, but regardless, there's still a substance present that Marshall just can't handle to be around right now, or maybe even ever. 

Now, Marshall doesn't think necessarily that he had a problem with alcohol, although he wafts back and forth on it. He knows he definitely abused alcohol, that's a given, but it was just never his substance of choice per se. His substance of choice was always the pills, but in those few desperate times where he didn't have access to any, he chose to drink instead. So, rather than just put himself in that uncomfortable position where he could hypothetically be tempted to drink, he figured it'd just be best if he stayed in Detroit and didn't come. It sucks that he's not here to spend the holiday with me, and be able to give each other a fairy tale New Year's kiss, but I'd always rather him be comfortable and safe, than uncomfortable and put at an unnecessary risk. 

After adding a few more swipes of the glittery gloss to my lips, I quickly put the applicator back into the tube before dropping it on the counter. Snatching my phone, I headed out of my bathroom and towards the living room where I could hear Des' cartoons obnoxiously playing. "You ready, baby?" I yelled out just as I was turning the corner. Immediately landing my gaze on him, his features quickly morphed into an 'oh shit' look, realizing he had spent the last hour watching TV rather than getting dressed like I had asked him to. 

Just as my lips parted to ask him why the hell he ain't ready yet, he quickly hopped up from the couch and began bolting towards his room. "I'm getting dressed! I'm getting dressed!" He screeched. 

Cocking an eyebrow upwards, I watched as he scurried down the hall. "Mhm, you better be." Sauntering my way towards the couch, I mindlessly pulled my phone out for a little entertainment while I waited. Watching the screen light up, my eyes quickly fell upon a missed text. 

From: Marshall

"I miss u. Take a jacket tonight, it's going 2 be cold."

Smiling, my fingers worked quickly as they rapidly tapped away at the keyboard. I don't know what's gotten into him recently with all of his random self care demands, but honestly? It's kinda hot. 

To: Marshall 

"I miss u too!!<3 I will. My dress is too thin for this weather lol."

From: Marshall

"Yeah?? Let me see." 

Quickly heading over to my phone's photo album, I clicked on the most recent picture I had taken which was just me about an hour ago, standing in front of that same mirror as I casually posed with my hand lightly pressed against against the top of the counter. I'm not sure I fully understand this whole taking your own picture culture yet that's seemed to have randomly spawned, but I'll tell you what? I'm definitely a fan of it.