Queen Bee

August 2005 (3)

It was a few days after my birthday, and Marshall thankfully was still in rehab. I was really nervous after talking with him that he might try to leave, but by some random luck, he hadn't. At least not yet. I've talked with him a few more times since then, and each time I've just really been trying to be a positive voice of reason for him, and it's seemed to have worked so far. I just really fucking hope it continues working, and that this all hasn't just been for nothing. Although, he knows how nervous I was about getting my hopes up again, and while I've been trying my best not too, I do think he would at least take that into account before he does anything drastic. And hopefully, he would take our unofficial deal we made into account as well. He should know good and well by now that if he doesn't finish the program, me and him aren't taking anything a step further. I think I've made that perfectly clear, so if he wants to be with me as bad as he says he does, then he'll stay. Like I said, if he doesn't stay for any other reason, I just hope to fucking god that I'm enough for him to want to stay. But, I guess I wasn't enough to ever get him to go in the first place, so who knows? Maybe I'll just be left sadly mistaken, but god damn it I hope not. 

After getting off the phone with Charmin, who was essentially just calling to pester me about if I had started on any new music or not, I went to wake Des up from his nap. Crouching down to the level of his small bed, I gently reached my arm outwards towards his cheek. "Wake-y wake-y, baby boy." I whispered, running the backside of my fingers over his soft skin. 

Watching his big brown eyes flutter open and immediately land on me, a little smile pulled at his lips. "Morning, mommy." 

I laughed. "It's not morning, silly. It's the afternoon." 

"Oh." He paused momentarily. "Can we play with toys then?" 

Laughing once more, I nodded. "We can after you have a snack, okay?" 

"Otay!" He squealed, immediately shooting up from his bed as if he wasn't dead asleep not even thirty seconds ago. Following him out of his room, we headed directly towards the kitchen where I had prepared some grapes, crackers, and cheese just to hopefully tie him over until I had dinner ready. As Des sat himself down at the table, I quickly brought over his plate of snacks. Just as I was setting them down in front of him, my painfully loud and obnoxious doorbell began to chime all throughout the house. Before I even had any time to react, Des was already out of his seat, bolting towards the door. "I got it!" He screeched from down the hall. 

"Des, ya know you're not allowed to be openin' doors when ya ain't know who it is!" I yelled back, trying my best to catch up with him so I could at least be there when he does open it. Just as I turned the corner of the hallway, I saw his tiny hand reach up towards the handle, swinging it open in I swear record time. 

As my eyes immediately fell upon Jayceon, his fell upon Des and I saw as a confused expression took over his chiseled features. "Hi!" Des happily greeted, his tiny hand frantically waving. God damn it. It's like I ain't taught him nothin' about stranger danger. 

As Jayceon looked up towards me, then back down at Des, a gentle smile pulled at his lips. "'Sup lil' man, you must be Des." He said sweetly, crouching down towards his level.    

Des nodded with a big smile, quickly forcing panic to set in as I thought about how Marshall's gonna react if he finds out about this. God, what the fuck is Jayceon even doing here?! I've been ignoring him for like two weeks at this point! Can't anybody take a fuckin' hint now a days?! "That's me!" Des replied, just as happily, earning a light chuckle from Jay. 

Quickly walking up behind him, I reached for the side of the door as Jayceon slowly returned to his towering height. "Des, baby, go eat ya snacks, k?"