Queen Bee

May 2002 (2)

My new album, The Eminem Show, had been dropped officially now for about a week. It was doing really fuckin' well, which was still just so crazy to me. I thought for sure maybe the first two doing good was just a fluke, but already this album has been selling faster than either one of the first two did. I honestly couldn't believe it, most days I still can't believe that this is really even my life. I find myself continuing to worry a lot about when the rug will finally be pulled from under me? When are all my sales just gonna plummet? When is my house gonna get taken away from me? When is Dre gonna drop me and shut down Shady Records? Fuck, I even find myself wondering when Angel's gonna leave me? It's not that I think she would, but it all just feels so surreal, that this can't really be my life. Not with a successful career, a gorgeous house, a beautiful fuckin' wife and kids. No way this is my life. Not a fuckin' chance. But yet... Somehow it is. And I refuse to ever let it slip between my fingers. 

While everything with the album and just my life in general was going fuckin' great, there was one thing that wasn't. Kim. She had gotten released yesterday, and she was already bitching at me for her to see the kids. I told her before she was even released that she wouldn't be able to keep them over night, or even see them by herself until I felt comfortable enough, which she definitely didn't like, but she really had no choice. I technically had full custody over them while she was gone, so she was gonna have to abide by my rules until I felt she was stable enough to handle them on her own. 

Even though her calling me three or four times over the last 24 hours about seeing them annoyed me, I knew it had to be done for the girls. They never really said much about not seeing Kim, but I know they were upset by it. They had to be. They're little, and that's their mom. What kid doesn't wanna see their mom? So, for their best interest, I told Kim she could come over today from noon until 5pm to see them. She could make them lunch, play with them, whatever she wanted, but she had to be here with me and Angel while she saw them. She definitely wasn't happy 'bout the Angel part, but oh well. She'll just have to get used to it, and I actually think she needs to show Angel a lil' bit of respect and gratitude for taking care of her kids for six months while she was gone, but I know that'll never happen and so does Angel. 

I also know Angel wasn't happy 'bout havin' Kim comin' in here into our home and hangin' out with the kids, but she understood it. She also recognized how important it is for the girls to have their mom, so once again, in the best interest of the girls, she was just gonna try and play nice with Kim, which I really appreciated. I'm not sure how nice Kim will play with Angel though, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there, I guess. 

"So how long is this gonna go on for, do ya think?" Angel asked as she sat at the table, feeding Des his favourite pureed green beans. 

"What?" I questioned, sauntering over to them with Stevie and her bottle in hand before sitting down beside Des' high chair. 

"Kim comin' over here." 

I shrugged. "I don't know, a month maybe. Then I'll let her start to take 'em for the day, then eventually she can keep 'em over night, then hopefully we can get back to our original one week each agreement, y'know? Just so you can start havin' some time off at least."

"Marshall, I don't need time off from them. They're ya girls, I love them the same as Des." 

"Nah, I know that, but... Aight, maybe ya just need to not be responsible for five different kids at one time so often." A small smile creeped onto my lips, telling her I was joking.  

She laughed. "Yes, that's definitely true." 

"Exactly, so hopefully in a bit everything can go back to normal and the girls can go back to spendin' two weeks a month with her."