Queen Bee

June 2010 (1)

Working away in the studio, I swear I had been sitting down there for hours as I continuously switched between recording and editing, recording and editing. It was a never ending cycle, but I wanted to make sure I had my vocals just right before sending off my final version to Big Fendi, a producer I had been working with, to get his thoughts before officially deciding if I wanted to put it on the mixtape or not. As of right now, it's one of my most favourite tracks I've recorded for the record, but still, you never know how other people are going to feel about it, and I've always found it beneficial to get a second opinion before deciding on anything. 

There was something about this record that was still pissing me off, though. I had recorded damn near thirteen tracks for the mixtape, even adding the freestyle me, Marshall, and Fifty did to the track list, and yet, I still felt like I was unsure about the theme for it. What am I trying to portray? What am I trying to get across? I refuse to delve into anything to do with me and Marshall's history yet, because in all honesty, I'm just not ready to speak about it publicly like he is. And maybe I wont ever be. But without that, the record feels a little shallow, surface level almost. 

Don't get me wrong, I love each and every single track I've recorded for the mixtape. They all sound amazing, and I think they're all so unique in their own ways. But still, it feels like something is missing, like I need one big explosive track. Something where I'm honest, and real, and maybe even a little bit angry... But I just don't know what yet. Hm. Whatever. I'm sure it'll come to me. 

Continuing to mess around on my laptop, I put my verse through program after program after program, in hopes of getting it just perfect, or at least as close to perfect as possible when I heard the door squeak open. Snapping my head to the left, my eyes quickly fell upon Marshall's nervous features, almost as if he was scared of disturbing me. "There you are!" I smiled, feeling incredibly happy he was finally back home from his meeting. "Come in, come in, come in, I need you to listen to this." 

Gesturing for him to come towards me, he complied with my request as he returned my smile. "You finished it?!" He asked, excitement tingeing his voice as he sat himself down beside me. 

I nodded. "I think so. I'm gonna send it soon, but you have to tell me what you think first." 

Nodding back, I kept my eyes glued to the headache inducing screen as I clicked play on the track for I swear the millionth time today. 

"Bottles on me till the whole club faded/I'm in the VIP and I'm white girl wasted/A rock star, party like Van Halen/Phantom comes with a chauffeur so I don't valet it, nah/We celebrate, pour the rosé, let it flow/To a New Year, new money, and some extra O's/Let's toast to new cars, fly condos/IRS, we the Celtics and I'm Rondo/Bottles in the air like luggage and jet cargos/We keep the champagne comin' till the bar close/These S1 keep the don on chill, I just blew fifty like a Shady deal/I'm faded, me and my peoples we wasted, the bar is open/More bottles in the V's, kickin' up more cheese/Got a feelin' it's going to be a good night like Black Eye Peas."

Quickly hitting pause, I cranked my curious features towards him as he continued to stare at the screen. "Y'know..." He trailed off as if he was thinking, slowly bringing his gaze towards mine. "It's really crazy how like, flexible you are as an artist." 

"What do you mean?" I inquired, my brows drawing into a questioning frown. 

"Like you can just so effortlessly change up your sound to fit, like, whatever's popular at the time, y'know? You never struggle with it. You never struggle with like, where music's goin', you always just match it, and that's somethin' that I can't fuckin' do. But you just flow so well over these trap beats, it's nuts to me." 

I smiled. "Well baby, you could too if you really wanted, but I think you're just a lil' stubborn." 

Laughing, he nodded. "Nah, you're right. I am stubborn, I am. I just think I'm too old for this shit, I don't know. But I do really like it, it's a dope track, baby. Good job."