Queen Bee

November 2005 (1)

Pacing back and forth between my living room and kitchen, I had my cellphone tightly hugging my ear as anxiety pumped throughout my veins with each ring I heard. I don't know why I felt so nervous calling Marshall, I mean it's just Marshall! But still. I knew what I was about to ask him could potentially start a fight, and I knew if I didn't hold it together enough, that he would immediately latch on to every insecurity, weaponizing it to the best of his ability. But I'll be damned if I start to crying in front of him, especially now that he's engaged to Kim. Once I'm off the phone, I can cry about it all I want, but not to him. He doesn't give a fuck, and that's incredibly clear. So I guess now, it's just a game of who gives a fuck less? Me or him? But I'm gonna win that challenge if it's the last thing I do.

Just as I had turned myself around to make my way back towards the living room, I listened as the ringing cut off and quickly I felt my heart beginning to sink. "Yo." Marshall's stern, already seemingly pissed off voice blared through the speaker, directly into my eardrum.

"Hey, uh- Do you have a sec? I needa talk to you about somethin'."

"Ya found out 'bout me and Kim gettin' engaged, huh?" He asked smugly, as if he had a stupid smirk plastered across his face.

"No actually, I found out about that last month, didn't care enough to call you." I sharply replied. "It's about Des."

"Why? Is he okay?" He asked as slight traces of concern began to riddle itself throughout his voice.

"He's fine, I just- I'm wonderin' if I can have him for Christmas this year since I didn't get him last year?"

"Uh, no? What the fuck? Are ya outta ya goddamn mind?"

"Marshall-"

"I get him on Christmas 'cause that's my fuckin' month with him, Angel! You came up with this whole entire custody agreement yaself, aight? You ain't get him on Christmas, that's ya own goddamn fault!"

"Marshall, I know, but-"

"And it's his fuckin' birthday in two weeks! So what?! Ya want him on Christmas and his birthday?!"

"I'm sorry, I know I shoulda talk to you 'bout this sooner-"

"Yeah! Ya fuckin' should have! I ain't doin' it unless I get him on his birthday!"

"Marshall, like you said it's in two weeks! I already have everything planned! Why do ya even want him for Christmas anyway?! You have Kim! What the fuck do ya even need him to be there for?!"

"Uh, 'cause he's my fuckin' son and I wanna spend Christmas with him? How 'bout that?" He asked as if I was stupid.

"Marshall, please! I don't have anyone on Christmas! You do!" I desperately begged.

"You have ya entire fuckin' family, Angel, that's bullshit!"

"But I don't have Des! He's part of my family too, Marshall!"

"Yeah and he's also apart of mine, so no! Ya fucked in the head if you think ya gettin' him on Christmas and his birthday!"

"Okay well is there any other dates you'd want?! May?! March-"

"Why the fuck would I want March?!"

"St. Patricks Day, I don't know?! I'm sure ya got Irish in you somewhere!"

Scoffing, I could tell he was rolling his eyes. "Nah, you know what month I want? January."

"Uh, okay? Why?" I asked suspiciously. "New Years?"

"That's when me and Kim are gettin' married. I want him there."

"What?!" I screeched. "NO! Are you fuckin' serious?!"